Jimmy Far Gone

I'm a stone cold hottie with a body. I'm freakin' huge in Japan. If I didn't mind itching all over, I would totally shave my back and shoulders and I could sell DVD's of me playing tennis without a shirt. I would pierce my boobies and harvest the cash. I completely rock. Seriously, I kick about fourteen asses in a row. My myspace site has had like four billion hits so far. Microsoft wants to advertise here but I'm down on The Man and Corporate America just like Eddie Vedder. My turn-ons include world peace and thunderstorms. Rude people and famines make me uncomfortable. I totally get in people's grills over it. (The rude people not the famines) Someday I'm just going to go the hell off and I'm not even kidding. My wife thinks I'm mint and she's right. (You like that? I'm bringing "mint" back because, as a total winner, I feel an obligation to the rest of the world.) One time I got too drunk and pooped the bed but that won't happen again. If I ever get the chance to go to a slumber party with the Olsen Twins, I'm THERE even if my wife says I can't go. I'm a dangerous rebel.