*kasualty

i violate cupcake laws! WoOOoOo!!!
i am ashton, yes, hi!
now i will drone on whilst trying to gain your favor:
-i like punk, though i will never call myself one or use the word in a sentence such as “that is SoOo PUNK ROCK!!!”
-i must admit i enjoy rockabilly and psychobilly too, though i don't know nearly enough about either
-i am shy, but it is a delayed shyness. i’m fine when i’m just meeting people, but it's when i run out of witty comments and common ground that i start to recoil. i’m not good at small talk, i think it’s rather stupid…
-i get nervous hanging out with people one-on-one because i don’t think i do enough to keep my life interesting for others to hear about
-thus, i have come to believe i am do for some drastic life changes…
-i need friends. friends that don’t suck! (apply within)
-ever heard of those out there, spontaneous female friend types? yeah...i'm like that, well once i'm familiar with an individual. though i have been known to break the ice by jumping on groups of people reclining on couches.
-i love going to “shows,” but don’t go too often anymore, because its not safe for an unattended lady to go skulking around the kind of shows i enjoy. hah! (yes, we are talking gg allen type stuff here. steer clear of rape, kids!)
-i am straight edge, yet not preachy about it (go me)...[hahaha yeah...]
-i have been told i’m “intelligent.” though i like this, i won't go out of my way to show off and appear smart. (i rather dislike the know-it-all type)
-i get self-conscious about my weight. this stems from the fact that i was a fatty when i was little, but hey! at least it forced me to develop a personality…how many rich skinny bitches can say that?
-i will not hesitate to defend what i believe in (and i will pwn, if need be!)
-i like fuzzy things, so i don’t eat them. [veg]
-i play bass (probably awfully, but no one yet has had the heart to tell me so)
-i like cheesy movies, and have made it my goal in life to end up in a “sci-fi channel original.” (i know, i aim high…)
-i am probably the only person to friend request "Tom" (random trivia)
-i like the whole “do-it-yourself” mantra, and thus i do…it myself
-i enjoy making obscure references and seeing if people catch on
-nihilism is my thing
-i enjoy old-timey things. records, cars, cultures, clothing, furniture…etc.
-i really really reeeally hate racism
-i have mad crushes on my (true) friends, not in a weird sexual way, but rather i just want to squeeze them to death. [i love you guyz! AHH!]
-i dislike chatspeak (though will occasionally use handy phrases like "pwn" [see above], but only because i'm joking. it's the serious people i fear...ones who say things like "OHemgee myko!! thos pbj sammiches suxXxorz!@#$%!! roffles" eww...)
-i like to people watch (but not in a creepy stalker-ish way). i find the human species most entertaining.
-i horseback ride
-i bake far too many cookies
-i take pictures of EVERYthing (i have a horrible memory due to all those caffeine-induced sleepless nights in high school and need something to remember all the mischievous adventures)
-i have a rather eclectic sense of fashion
-i can skank, pogo, and mimic hardxcore kids in a parodic manner. this is the extent of my dancing abilities. please don’t ask me to do otherwise…
-i like cheap things: thrift stores, swap meets, asian markets, garage sales, menWHAT?!
-i heart road trips
-futons excite me
-ducks try to follow me home from parks
-dave is my dog, not a boy i am obsessed with. please don’t make this mistake like all the others. haha
-i firmly believe urban outfitters is prostituting everything i love…
*official fangirl of sirose<3
things i don't hate...yet:
-music
-art
-pugs
-doing random things with random people at random times
-oobie (no, really, i’m not a stoner)
-nonconforming conformists (like myself)
-dinosaurs
-animals that may or may not exist
-the 70’s
-teh 80's
-pwning newbs
-saving eels
-planting trees, but being morally opposed to green peace (*shudders)
-reviving dead languages
-the land of eng.
-the anti-social club (and other such oxymorons)
eat more cake!
because i am bored, with the internet at my disposal, and didn't want to keep posting things in the blogz:
who i am and who i wanted to be were once the same. however, now, i'm not sure who i am. everything i've loved has come to mean nothing,diluted by senseless pricks and people with way too much money and free time and nothing better to do than drift through trends and fads and bullshit pop culture that takes what is grand and squeezes the life out of it until it means nothing. nothing stands for what it did. nothing means anything. nothing is what it was. all of it,sacrificed by consumerism. and it is because of this,and these people who can commit to nothing except what is "hip", that i have lost my way. i hate your fucking bullshit. i hate your preachy ways. i hate how you waltz into where i am armed with little knowledge of what it is you are participating in and try to tell me that I am wrong,that your way is the true way,that the ten minutes you have belonged to this "scene" were the only minutes that ever happened and ever mattered. i hate it how you rob me of wanting to put effort into anything anymore. i hate it how you make me change my values to cope with yours, the bastardizations of what i once believed to be true. [i hate how you make me not even care enough about you to bother with spell check to make sure i spelt that right.]die. just fucking die. if i were one of just 100,000 people on this planet,i would be happy. we all would be happy.there are too many damn people to bothing caring about anymore.there are too many of you to bring the rest of us down.too many starving orphans,too many "please send money"s.just die,you rich, egomanical assholes. let one of the orphans take your place. let them wreck your mansion containing your hot topic pants and plant a tree there instead. trees don't care about you. those people you pretend to know to get places don't care about you. i don't care about you. so fuck you.

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