"rowing gently down the Volga in the terminal phase of terrestrial life..."
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where to start. i really do have an inexplicable love for language. bottom line is it's all we have to communicate and are totally indebted to it and i think i really appreciate that more than most. as a result of this fixation/obsession/compulsion/whatever, i'm constantly striving to express myself as perfectly as possible through its silly words and phrases, so please excuse my bombastic inclinations, but it has become a part of who i am. i like to think i am intelligent, and really try to exude that about myself but the funny thing is i pretty much hide behind quotes and ambiguously personal ideals from people who are/were much more intelligent and individualistic than i am. as of this moment, i still have really nothing worthwhile or original to contribute to all i hold so dear. i'm working on it though. i'll keep reading and pondering and deducing and so on till kingdom come due to this insatiable thirst for knowledge and understanding i dont think i'll ever be able to quench. i really dont expect others to understand me, or need them to or that matter, so i keep most of my concocted textbook pessimism and obscure ideas to myself. it's nice to think doing it all for me in the end. Yup, guess i still havent fully discovered me yet, but then again, who am i anyways? identity? maybe. brett? geez. smelly? hope not. next. playing music comes pretty naturally to me, but i guess thats because i've been doing it for well over the majority of my life. i don't know, i just feel i understand melody. better than most. It's become intuitive to a degree. i'm a sucker for minors. chords that is. next. i live almost exclusively in the moment. i'm pretty loud and obnoxious when im around my friends but the truth is i am really diffident and self-conscious around people i dont know, or at least, before i get a few drinks in me. then there's THAT whole mess. i have a position on this though; i justify my need to quaff on the grounds that it overpowering me in the end is a result of my allowing it to. In this way, i have some control over the most uncontrollable aspect of living things: finitude. fate. death by choice is better than the other alternative. well, i think. anyway, most importantly, any of this stuff i write is obsolete the minute i type it. who i am today is not who i'll be tomorrow and what i believe now will change over time. we are all products of experience and, whether we like it or not, it changes us. that i can say i believe. we'll see how it holds up. SO, at this particular moement, here i am, this is me. and here are some other antiquated things that might further help you weed me out:
