Greetings, infidels. I feel that I am obligated to introduce myself. My name is Stewie. But please, since I am soon to be your leader, you must call me "Snake". My physical age is of no importance. My mental age is highly evolved due to the fact that I spent my time as a fetus plotting the major points which I will destroy when my struggle for power is complete. There are few who stand in my way, save Lois. She is my "mother" and I loathe her with every perfect bone in my body. How my older siblings, Chris and Meg, turned out so... "relatively normal"... I will never understand. Her parenting skills are mediocre and her ambition for power is non-existent. My father, Peter, is too stupid to stand in my way. He is rather rotund. Of course, what do you expect from a man who eats nothing but mayonnaise and beer. Perhaps when I am sheik of the world, I will keep him in my entourage for entertaining pleasure.
