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About Me

retired superhero....outta comission partyman but only during the week...contrary to popular belief i DO NOT eat dogs....i just fit the head in my mouth during times of alcoholic intoxication.....(the head fit in)...i miss cali and cali family and cali weather...all my cousins better befriend me!!!....i decided to update my myspace due to boredom...too much time on my hands due to retirement...retirement pay for a superhero is not enough...gained some weight but losing it again...gym pass is expired, somebody loan me their pass so i can hit the gym!!o if there is anything i forgot please leave a comment on my fride lol!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:


Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's. Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick) Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography. When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies. Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.