Dapper Dan

I start the day off right dragon punching a small child in the soft spot. As I run from thier ensuing family I usually have to run several blocks before they stop chasing. This is my warm up. Now that the bloods pumping and chances are I have run to north Baltimore I find the nearest crack dealer and purchase said crack rock. Not for me though. This white stone will come in handy for getting this toothless prostitute to do all the things I want for a fraction of the cost in cash. So generally I do all this before 10am. Now its time for a sandwhich , Lettuce, tomato, portabella, turkey, ham, mustard, mayo, salt, pepper, smoked guouda, Between two slices focaccia. Now to a bar. Then to another bar. Then I play a sport better than you. By now If I have the night off from working I usually have a crouwd of 50 or 60 groupie chicks just following me around. I pick the ugliest and show her what a real man can do. Not personally, No I use video and pictures. Its time to start trying to remember my address. This takes me about and hour due to all the alochol I ingested during the day. Once I remember where I live I relay the information to the call girl agency so that by the time I make it home there is a 250+ pound beauty waiting for me in my lobby. The night ends with an argument over the fact that in her picture she looked like Jessica Alba and In person she looks like Rosie O'donnel. I punch her in the stomach a baby falls out and starts to cry. I punch the little bastard in the soft spot. A new day begins. I never sleep. Sleep is a cousin of death.