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ABOUT THE KAYLA!The deity known as Kayla was born March 30th, 2035, on the planet ASSTASTICA. A mighty and powerful being only overshadowed by Thor and Dr. Greg House, The almighty Kayla was feared and worshiped all across Mesopotamia and the Netherlands as a goddess, Only overshadowed by well, God, Thor, and House. And Johnny 5. After all, He is alive. Anyway.It came to pass that the being known as the Kayla had to choose between two choices. That's a bit Redundant. Anywho. She could either stay in Afganistan and rule as Allah's right hand snuggle kitten, smiting Al'qaida and Bringing a Jihad of funk onto the world, Or, travel back in time to 1982 and be born again, to Mortal parents. Being funked out and a bit over cuddled, Kayla gave up her amazing powers of dancedance and partyhardy, and traveled back in time to the eighties, much in the same way they did it in the Terminator movies. Only her shiny bubble blew up a row of outhouses on the side of a highway.Where was I. Oh yeah. So, the Kayla, now in a mortal form, weak as any other man, hurt, like any other man, and not a man. She popped out, crying, her head all triangular because of the tight fit..You didn't read that.Years later, The Kayla goes through school, Elementary, Middle, Kung Fu.. And she pwnd it all easily, though she was picked on for her need to wear glasses ( as human words were hard to read, Asstastican script was just a bunch of shittily written scratch) And her antennae. Her mother, Bobbi, Had to get her hair cut in odd, tomboyish ways to hide the fleshy, moving growths on her forhead. To these mortal parents, was born ( by natural causes) Patrick, Thespian extrordinare-kinda, and Gary Lane, The in your face and doesn't pay attention in class because He's sucking face with his girlfriend. Years later, She meets and marries Edward Starner, Who she finds out another year later was from ASSTASTICA, as well. In fact, his real name was Edwardo Mcsexythang, The son of the king of ASSTASTICA. So, Marrying prince Edwardo, The two concived Two daughters, Hannah, princess of ASSTASTICA, and Deanna, Warrior princess. Along the voyage, she met Bettyjean Iznotmylover, Another ASSTASTIC resident. After that, She met Jolly-Julian the Italian Stallion, even though he's more like a quarter horse. Through trials and tribulations, Kayla of ASSTASTICA has come out on top, or near second, slightly tilted off to the side, maybe. At any rate, shes still here, and She's here to stay, until that God up there that overshadows her by only a little bit decides to call her home to heaven. Which just so happens to be a neighboring city to ASSTASTICA.
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