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Hi, I'm Jamie and I used to be a baby. Now, Im full of teen angst. I live in a slightly fucked up reality. I choose this above living in the real. Because reality sucks my ass. Everyone that surrounds me... well lets just say, they are well aware of the choice I have made to live in my own little bubble filled with beautiful colors and emotions of all kinds. There are a few people that seem cocksure that I am fake. That Im trying to fit into a mold and that I cant think for myself. Well... come on, slap a big white label on my face. Because believe me, honey, you are way more emo/punk/scene/prep/goth/jock/nerd than I will ever be. And if it will make you happy, you can go right ahead and win this social game.
I live in Rock Springs. Here, not only is the weather on crack, but so are all the people. So let me try to get something across to you real quick. Something very important for you to know if you want to gain and keep a relationship of any kind with me. Im straight-edge. I dont like drinking. I dont like smoking. I dont like drugs. But good for you if you spend your weekends pumping your system full of garbage. Just leave me out of it. Go play in traffic.
There is something I want more than anything else in the world. And that is for love to be as wonderful as Hellogoodbye makes it sound. Love fucking sucks. I cannot think of a more painful thing to experience. All of my relationships play out in the same way. Initial hellos and cheesy one liners. Long rides in cars and scary movies on the couch. Kiss me. Kiss me. Touch me. Touch me. Then comes the three little words that are used too offen without proper principle. Then I believe. Then I trust. Then I fall. Deep and hard. And I get attached, like a mother-fucking parasite. They become my world. The only thing I can think about. The only reason I wake up. And I get filled up with this happiness that just wont go away. Then I glow. Then I feel like Im on top of the world. And suddenly, Boom! Bang! Crash! Whispers behind my back as the rug is pulled out from under me and my face hits the concrete. Blood everywhere. Embarrassment. Shame. I then walk around, my head miles away. Nursing my broked heart with old love songs and depression medications. Sure, I heal. Everyone heals. But the pain is always greater than the pleasure. Fuck love. Love is nourished by lies and broken promises. As much as I am obsessed with it, I find myself utterly terrified by it. Unless you are serious, and you can feel the ways I can feel, you and I would both be better off if you left me alone. →Dear past relations and current heart-string pullers. Fuck your face.
Im loud. I am obnoxious. I will embarrass you in public because I find it ridiculously hilarious. I will do the most random, profane, disturbing, outlandish things to see the reactions I might get from people. I am told over and over in class to shut my mouth because I laugh at everything. Show me something you think is so sad, so discusting, so horrible that no one could ever find a funny perspective... and I will prove you wrong. Anything creepy or completely against the norm. Anything that your mother wouldnt want to hear you talking about... that is exactly what I do want to talk about. I love the bizarre things in life. Dude, happiness can be found anywhere. And I will definately be the one to find it.
I find people being very intimidated by me. Alarmed by how strong my personality can be at times. Perplexed by how fucking righteous I am. Sometimes I even see people being completely dismayed when I give them a glance in the hallways. But, kiddos, Im just like you. I go to school everyday. I have to deal with peer pressure. Im judged constantly and I am so far from flawless that it makes me ill to even think about it. So come on, sweetie pies. Be my friend. Smile at me in the hallway. Ask for my number. Add me on this dump called Myspace. I am rad. Really I am. We can be friends. Or lovers. Or something to that effect. Thanks for reading. Stay cool, homes.
