This is about as much fun as a heart attack.

About Me

What exactly is so disconcerting about honesty?Today I was dining alone at a restaurant and my server asked "how are you today?" Now on this particular occasion I could honestly reply "fine, thanks". But what if I was having a shitty day? Am I then expected to lie... reply that I'm "fine", and when I'm too cranky to make idle chit chat, should the server then assume that I'm an unfriendly cunt? Should he retaliate by offering me sub-par service and spit in my food, thus making my shitty day even more lamentable? See, this is the problem with inaccurate and incomplete information. Perhaps an honest answer to the "how are you" question would have yielded an effort to brighten my day... maybe a free soup or some extra dinner mints. Thus resulting in a better tip for my server and a more pleasant dining experience for myself. See, everyone wins.

My Interests

I'm rather interested in watching Adam Levine gyrate his hips around.

I'd like to meet:

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I'm a new mommy!

Music:

Rage Against The Machine, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Damiera, Funeral For A Friend, Every Time I Die, AFI, Circa Survive, Bloc Party, underOATH, Panic At the Disco, Paramore, Fall Out Boy, Thursday, Atmosphere, The Mars Volta, The Dear Hunter, Alkaline Trio, Thrice, Glassjaw, Gnarls Barkley, Handsome Boy Modeling School, Coheed and Cambria, Amy Winehouse, Atreyu, Emery, Ten Second Epic, The Receiving End of Sirens, Incubus, Minus Driver, Saosin... bah, enough already.

Movies:

THE DEPARTED. Holy hell, the best movie I've seen in years.

But also, Match Point, Trainspotting, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Goodfellas, The Untouchables, Fargo, The Usual Suspects, Boondock Saints, Swimming With Sharks, Primal Fear, Dr Strangelove, Reservoir Dogs

Television:

American Justice, Frontline, Cold Case Files, Law and Order, Sex and the City, Arrested Development, The Black Donnellys (canceled and replaced by The Real Wedding Crashers? Are you kidding?), Entourage, Rescue Me, South Park.

Books:

Update coming soon...

Heroes:

I believe people are better off as their own heroes. If you count on other people to rescue you, you will spend most of your life disappointed.

My Blog

Two years later...

I'm sitting here listening to music that reminds me of my first summer in Orlando. Every day on my way to my shitty job at the timeshare company, part of my "routine" was listening to a burned Saosin...
Posted by This is about as much fun as a heart attack. on Wed, 11 Jun 2008 06:02:00 PST

Everyone point and laugh at the pregnant lady.

Ok. So due to the physical discomfort I am currently experiencing, I didn't expect to write again until little Jordan is born. But I am awake and I have tums, so I think my belly can handle this for...
Posted by This is about as much fun as a heart attack. on Sat, 15 Dec 2007 01:29:00 PST

It’s hardly a substitute, asshole.

For the record, the next person that tells me"Don't worry. Just focus on the baby."Is getting stabbed.Babies do not hold stimulating, adult conversation. Babies do not provide a sense of safety and ...
Posted by This is about as much fun as a heart attack. on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 04:07:00 PST

Fairy tales and make believe!

It is becoming increasingly obvious to me just how dishonest people are... in a general sense. For example, my boss tells me to keep my mouth shut about glaring problems with my position. FOR WHAT? ...
Posted by This is about as much fun as a heart attack. on Tue, 14 Aug 2007 06:01:00 PST

Some things aren't so clearly defined

Some things are simple... like cakes. If I make the time, put in the effort and the right ingredients, I know what I'm going to wind up getting as an end result. Cakes are easy. People and aspirati...
Posted by This is about as much fun as a heart attack. on Thu, 02 Aug 2007 04:16:00 PST

I'm growing a teeny tiny penis inside me. How sci-fi.

Say hello to baby Jordan! He's due January 1st and weighs about 6 oz......
Posted by This is about as much fun as a heart attack. on Tue, 31 Jul 2007 03:33:00 PST

Well today sucked, but hey... at least I don't have AIDS

So my test results are in... I am disease free and not a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis. Sweet. The baby has an audible heartbeat and is happily kicking the hell out of my uterus, so I'm going to go ou...
Posted by This is about as much fun as a heart attack. on Tue, 17 Jul 2007 06:32:00 PST

I crumbled under the peer pressure...

..> The Maid of Honor Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLM) ...
Posted by This is about as much fun as a heart attack. on Mon, 02 Jul 2007 04:16:00 PST

Interrupting my current writings to bring you this rant...

You were suspicious all the way back in December."I don't want to get involved"Spare the excuses and the histrionics.You couldn't care less who you hurt.You can't stand not having the attention.This i...
Posted by This is about as much fun as a heart attack. on Sat, 23 Jun 2007 12:18:00 PST

Question of settling.

It plays out so much prettier in my mind.I wish I knew what you thought, but I'm terrified of the answer.Life would be so much easier if I wasn't so complicated.Even though I'm pretty comfortable with...
Posted by This is about as much fun as a heart attack. on Tue, 12 Jun 2007 06:06:00 PST