shy. opinionated. sarcastic. childish. spoiled.
i spend a lot of my time reading and pushing people out my life. i love my horse, because he is the best listener :) i miss my grandparents, and im afraid of the future because i don't think i could ever be as strong as they were. i think i have loved one person in my entire life, but was too pussy to admit it. i miss us. i put on a smile everyday, 'cause vulnerable doesn't look good on me. i love 90's pop music and singing at the top of my lungs when i'm upset. goosebumps when seeing/talking about someone or something you care about is the best. and how red i get when i am embarrassed. i like being right, but i never am, i'm totally stubborn & always have to apologize for making stupid decisions. i love warm nights and starry nights that i can only get in pennsylvania. the world needs more pink bunny rabbits, and good horror movies (like scars of dracula) in my opinion. i like the way when someone cares about you looks at you like no one else in the world matters. i want to believe i'm not as forgettable as some people make me out to be. content explains my situation in life. people come and go, but are never replaced. i want to be forgiven for being dumb, and childish, when i act scarred.. but its nothing new, and i never intend to hurt you. i promise. i hate swallowing my pride and i only do it for some people. i guess 'go kill yourself' isn't the best defense phrase (i'm working on it). good friends are there to support you when you are puking your guts out when you don't know when to stop, and make you drive to panera at like noon, when you don't function till after 2. they stay on the phone with you till 6 in the morning, and listen to the birds chirp with you. they watch stupid politically incorrect cartoons with you every wednesday, and let you rant to them about anything, cause its cute right. take you to pick up drunk people at 2 in the morning cause they just want to spend time with you, do random jobs in your apartment and listen to their gay friends speak even if you don't want them to. but a really good friend forgives you for being a stupid idiot, cause they really do care about you as much as they always told you. & you wanted to wish them happy birthday but didnt cause you were too ashamed to, and when yours came they were the only person you wanted to hear it from. the last how ever many days have sucked and i can only hope you feel the same cause you are so far away, but im afraid you ran to someone else cause why wouldn't you? you'll see this and not care but im truely sorry, and if you dont see it at least i wrote it and am not ignoring you. you were the closest person ive ever been too and i loved being around you no matter how lame i was im sorry to have hurt you. and i will deal with the consequences.
Bleedingmascaraz
cmnts,