Burt Reynolds

Hello Fans, you know me as Burt Reynolds, The Actor Extrodanaire, but i am here to fill you in on details unknown to you. Long before Adam and Eve, there was Burt Reynolds. I, Burt Reynolds, am the Evil Lord of Death. I killed Able, not Cain. I work in mysterious ways. The Reynolds is Lord of Death and Destruction who, might I add, is extremely good looking. I curve the thoughts of people into believing i am a good actor, and then annhilate them with my deadly powers. I was at the crucifiction of Christ, sticking my tongue out, and poking him with a stick. I also studied under ancient Tibetan monks to learn the dark powers of the world and ballet dancing. Eventually I destroyed an entire Tibetan village with my Napalm Snot of Doom and extreme Mustache Growth. After covering the small village with very course lip hair, i sizzled it to the ground and defacated on the remains of the women and children while i performed the dance "Swan Lake". I was President Lincoln's political advisor, and told him to free the slaves, you mght see this as a good thing, but i foresaw the coming of a united states filled with hate crimes and LL Cool J, which is more horrible then any of you can percieve. I now have arisen as a main actor in remake movies such as The Longest Yard, and Dukes of Hazzard. I also enjoy the company of my evil platypus, Clem; poetry; suicide letters; and dripping cones of strawberry ice cream on a hot July afternoon.