Wandering Fool

What's left of us when we forsake that which we have always clung to? When our hearts are breaking, and our lives are falling apart around us we are at our weakest point, and yet we are our most powerful. It's in moments like this that we can change our own lives in the biggest way. In the heart of saddness lies the seat of compassion.We are at a crossroads.Do we turn left into the land of seclusion so that we can put back the wall that kept us "safe" from the outside world. The wall that allowed us to interact but never really connect? We work so hard to keep people exactly where we want them. Where we feel safe for them to be. We don't want them to look at us to see us for who we are. It might be to hard for us to explain that we are human. Worse yet we may have to admit it ourselves. The pain that cuts too deep, what is it, why are we feeling it and why don't we allow others to see it? When we cry broken tears of pain do we really think we are going to get rid of them by wiping them away? But we slink away from those who would help if we let them and build up those walls a little higher so that it makes it harder for people to see inside.Do we turn right into the sun and into the light that will not only lay our souls bare for us and everyone else to see, but will also dry up our tears of bitterness and pain. Do we take steps to remain vulnerable so that we can continue to touch others and let ourselves be touched. Do we learn from our saddness the thoughts of true compassion? Are we going to be able to stop cursing ourselves for our mistakes and learn from them the lessons that we really need to learn to be who we truley are.Who are you to take away from the world the most beautiful version of you that there could be. You lock it, and the shit that surrounds it, into a vault behind the doors and walls of anger and laughter. Is it really so hard to remain open and vulnerable? Do you really think that when people tell you how amazing you are that they are lying to you? Do you think that if they knew your private pain that they wouldn't think so highly of you anymore?So here's the deal. Something I've said before that everyone needs to hear again and again. Say it with me. Write it in a letter to yourself, and actually mail it. Tell yourself every morning in the mirror while you pry your sleepy eyes open to face the day.You are beautiful. You are amazing, and even though your heart and soul may be scarred and beaten up, you are an incredible person. It is when you cry that you affect the most people and in your saddness that you are the most vulnerable. Vulnerablity is beautiful and touching. You make a difference in peoples lives just by being you in any version you decide to take on today. You are perfection. You are not perfect, you are human. Do you really want to have to live up to the expectations of being perfect? You are perfection means that right now you are where you need to be and what you need to be. Be gentle with yourself. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes and most of all be loving and in love with who you are. If you don't feel loving towards yourself say nothing but wonderful things about yourself.You are perfection, you are an incredible, amazing, beautiful human being and I love knowing that you are out there to brighten each day with your presence even when you don't think you are up to par. Take the steps and try again until you find the you that is under the crap you piled on it to keep it hidden and safe.I love you, not in some sick twisted way that the words usually get pulled into meaning but in a pure way of accepting you for who you are now. Thank you for living. Thank you for being.
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