BLAH. How can I describe myself? Yipes. Lol. Well, I am definitely someone who lives for the truth of things. I try not to see the world through my eyes too much, I try to see it through everyone else’s so I have a better understanding of the energies around me. I love to play outside.
Nature is def my thing.
I was the kid sneaking out to the back yard on school nights to be able to fall asleep starring at the stars.
I absolutely LOOOVE the rain. The right amount of rain is good for the soul.
I do have to say though, most of all I love looking at the ocean, when I see those waves I feel like I can breathe.
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The ocean definitely reminds me of what’s most important in my life, what’s real. It filters out all the material preoccupations.
I think there are always material preoccupations,constant distractions if u will, existing externally around all of us but I love that core feeling you get from a person, you can’t put a word on it & there could be many great things about this person but what I am talking about is the over all true essence of them, without all the rest.
I definitely am a strong girl, strong heart, strong mind BUT I feel like I have a good judge of character so if I let you in I can definitely get caught off guard and stung in the ass. Lol
Honestly I just FEEL, A LOT, about EVERYTHING, there is so much energy in this world and I try so hard to understand it, soak in it, feel the good, the bad & the ugly, while learning from it every time.
This heart took a pretty hard beating a couple years ago, considering how hard it is I really think I’m learning my biggest lesson.
It's like your with someone..... Aaand your cores connect, then all of the sudden the other person gets lost in the material preoccupations. Makes me really think about what I want.
Everyone has a beautiful core, some people are really lost, and some prefer the surface, but you are ALL there, and I am here with ya! Not to be Debbie Downer, I just know that there are a ton of people out there who know the feeling I am talking about and if we could all just appreciate that in people a little more instead of the wallet, the car, or who’s wearing what, we’d be more aligned with the truth. I think that is why people feel comfortable with me...because there is an imediate feeling of acceptence & non-judgement. It's hard for me not to appreciate someone unconditionally because I look beyond the outside, I look pretty...damn...deep. I guess with people I'm more looking at the intention somone would have if they didn't need to protect themselves physically and emotionally. Remember, everyone was a child without fear at one point, with a fresh look at the world.
To jump for a moment : I have constantly been searching for something MORE in this life. For me it has nothing to do with a better career. Hmmm. It is bigger than that. & I cant explain it.
Its like everyone is trying to make their blueprint. And alot of it is routine. THey destroy, build, fear & self-indulge while advertising themselves at the same time. Are they just doing these things for the sake of doing something?
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Do they they really feel like thats all life is just building on the OUTSIDE? Its like the more things they have on their plate
the more complex they think they are. WHEN there is a whole other side to people a whole other unexplored world based soley off of feeling, exploration, desire, loyalty, questions and certainties; I call that inner-world."
And to me it is endless. The levels that can be reached & the way it can fill a person is amazing in ways there are no words to describe. Foooor example, the feeling of being in love, or having so much heart in something, makes us feel like the missing "something" is not missing anymore. Almost like it fills a void.
Even having a realization or opiphany creates this feeling. Sometimes it's short lived and sometimes it's long lived. It makes you feel like now that i have this, I am closer to the ultimate truth. This truth enables me to openly experience all the other things that this world has to offer.....HAVING THE WORLD MAKE THAT MUCH MORE SENSE, MAKING ME FEEL THAT MUCH MORE FREE.
& this great feeling, this void filler I am talking about has nothing to do with money.
There are people "set for life" that understand what this searching is like & are still on the "search." Wanna know what I'm into, THIS is what i'm into. What's THIS, I DUNNO---> its whatever u felt while reading that.
I will say this to the girls though, cause I know we all like to go out and look good for eachother. We ARE human so its only natural, even for the people with depth and understanding to care about appearances. Just hear me out though> I am SOO over people’s fakeness that when I see a girl lookin all f*ckin gorgeous I go through the whole thing in my head: the date & the sex, then I think about what she’ll look like the next morning make-up off and hair a mess it’s like, awe, THERE SHE IS! Dress up all ya want girls, lol, it looks hott & even hotter in bed, but appreciate who u are in your rawest form. Lol. Cause u want someone to love that part of you ;u) On a serious note to end: Life has been tough and confusing but we all know everything isn't "Rainbows and Butterflies." I just live it out, feel as much as I can and try to see things as THEY ARE not as I AM. Grow, connect, >LIVE<, experience, THINK, learn, explore, >LOVE<, try, express.
p.s. Your NEVER too old to climb a tree