Chelsea Cobain

Wishing...it never works... Believe me. I have wished for plenty, and it has never happened without me putting in the effort. Hoping, praying...its all the same. I am not dissing God, cuz I happen to not be a sad atheist person who wants to die and not exist in a wonderful nirvana so great the imagination could never dream up... Ah, thats another thing I tend to do...talk. Back on subject, I am just saying, don't you think God wants us to work hard to become greater ppl. Thats the reason we have to go through hardships. It just makes you a stronger more well rounded person. Experiences equal intelligence. It takes a lot of work to get what you want out of life, and you only have one of those. Life is an irreplacable thing, try not to lose it being stupid . You can find yourself again, cuz everything thats lost can be found...I mean come on, I found my necklace the other day and I lost it two years ago. So believe me, you can come back from anything. I have, and I know its hard to believe, been at the lowest of lows. I mean I was such a sad person that even a pickle couldn't cheer me up:DD " I got two pickles, I got two pickles, I got two pickles, yeah yeah yeah." Ha...lol...any who, I really don't like to talk about that part of my life anymore, because it was not who I am. It is a non existent part of my life, but what I learned from it, I guess, will always exist. You may not notice this, but ppl look up to you, no matter who you are; and when you mess up, it hurts them too. If you do bad things, they are more likely to do bad things, or be smart and look up to some one who is not a complete idiot . Be smart, use your brain cells, don't lose your brain cells. Ha, and yes you can quote me...I'm quotable:DD.
Now for the positive... Remember when you were five and your parents would tell you " You can be whatever you want to be"? Well, thats the truth, the god honest truth. It seems over the period of our thirteen plus years of school, we tend to believe in our capabilities less. Let me ask you this, why when you were eight years old, you were so determined and sure that you could be a professional basketball player or doctor or such? What has changed really? Your still you. How come now, when your eighteen years old and have to make that leap, you start to doubt yourself? I know damn well when you were eight you wern't even considering how much work you would have to do to become that pro basketball player, but heres the difference, you didn't see yourself struggling, you saw yourself there. Huh...how little did we know that as we grew up we would not become smarter, yet stupid-er-er. Its not our faults really. Its the worlds, its your pupils, its even your teachers. I have had those certain indivduals who would doubt my intelligence or my capabilities, and yes some were teachers. But what you need to understand is, when someone sees something great in you, they are going to try and take that away from you because they can't find that in them. Don't let them ruin you. One person can destroy you, you are the only one that can keep yourself from disaster. I know that we have the choice to change our minds in what we want to do, maybe our activities have changed, or our interests, but never your capabilities. The only way your capabilities can change is with a disability, and I damn well know you have all four limbs still attached and you arn't in a mental institution, yet, so get back on that damn horse and swim your way across that ocean.
I myself, will make it. I will achieve all my hopes and dreams. Not by hoping and dreaming though, but by learning and doing. Because, I have done everything I had to to get where I am today. Nothing has changed. You still have to pass. Maybe not a class, but in life you have plenty you would much rather pass then deal with...lol. Life isn't a game of poker though...its much more like the game of life:DD, just a little less predictable...which is kinda of like the game of poker. Solution, life is like the game of poker and life,which is a good thing...otherwise it would be boring. I am currently trying to go to Washington State University, because it is my dream school:> www.WSU.edu It is perfect like you haven't seen.It is said to be one of the top public schools in the world. It will be where I am going if I have to apply eleven million times till they get so sick of seeing my application they just allow me to attend...lol. I want to major in Biology, it seems like the perfect major because it opens up so many career possibilities that you couldn't count them on ten peoples hands. My first career choice is absolutely going to be in the medical field. I would like to become a doctor of some sort, there are so many kinds that I haven't narrowed it down yet, but I would like to work in a hospital and just do diagnotion and testing...I don't think I would want to be a surgeon...I have a weak stomach. If I decide med school isn't my thing, then my second choice would be in the Forensics field, possibly as a Forensic Scientist, not the CSI, I wouldn't be able to see a dead person and remain in a state of anything but hysterical crying, ugh...which may contradict what I want, but I'll work on it. Right now I don't have a plan C. I should get a plan C... hmmm. Plan C is still in the works.:DD I just know one thing is certain, WSU is my first choice of school. I love Washington so much...ah such a beautiful and inspiring place. When I think of Washington, I instantly become extatic... can't help it. The beautiful mountains and waters...so perfect, it is the only place that is even close to a nirvana for me. Just know this, when you see me twelve years from now, I'll be rolling in a Lamborghini, and thats when you know I have really made it:DD.
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