Excerpt from NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC:Chris Diaz was formed as the result of a genetically engineered blue whale that was bonded with a piece of chocolate cake. He is the definition of delicous. Chris is so smart that steven hawking often asks him for tutoring lessons and advice on women.He is so amazing that he once turned a ball of playdough into an actress named jessica alba and a hot pretzel with cheese. Chris spends his spare time reading"box car children" novels and steping on brown hamsters. He is also immune to all diseases including aids, syphilis, cancer, west nile,tacos, africa, clamidia, and genetal warts. However if he gets a common cold he will explode into a million microwavable jimmy dean breakfast sandwichs. No human being has ever been able to beat him in a hop sctoch competition. His only weaknesses are being lit on fire and chainsaws to the face.- excerpt from NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC.
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