I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence. Personal philosophy: Clothing optional. I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good looking and I plan on finding out what that is. I am President of the Chuck Club, leader of all mispronounced words and common phrases, and I couldn't spell if my life depended on it. I'm not an ambi-turner but I can cuddle with the best of em. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius. I like parties, but I don’t like pinatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. There must be steroids in macaroni. Charlie, Chris, and the Mexican are like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it...which is more meaningful I think. Night time is a very dark time for me...and that's when you find out that that pretty little girl you met isn't a pretty little girl at all. No, I'm a man-eater. And I'm not talking about the "whoa-whoa, here she comes" kind of man-eater. I'm talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink.
