Brandon profile picture

Brandon

The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away

About Me


I'm an intergalactic vagabond without a planet to piss on or a galaxy to throw it out of. Stumbled upon this rock, cuz it looked like paradise from on high. Got stranded in the one state where winter's forbidden, but the beer's always cold. Rambled around for awhile, learning the local flavor. Picked up an accent along the way, don't remember when, don't remember how. Got caught in a fix, so I sold my life story for a hundred bucks and a ride back to town. Found a raven-haired beauty with wheels on her feet and competition in her blood. She hip-checked me over a bridge on our first date and rolled on by, laughing all the way; it was love at first bruise. Settled down in a starter home in an old part of town. Cut the grass, ignore the neighbors, make sure the money's sent in on time lest the lights go out. Watch Westerns and listen to bands like the Flying Burrito Brothers; realize I touched down about three decades and a century too late. Look up at the night sky and watch the glimmer of a past and a world long since forgotten, not even a footnote anymore. Spend the weekends lounging around in a makeshift hammock and getting excited over buffets, $1.99 All You Can Stand. Think about hitching the next vessel on outta here, just a little holiday, just for nostalagia's sake, but don't want the wife to worry. Still getting by. No complaints. Regrets, only a few. Words of wisdom: Always have an exit strategy. This is Tom Waits performing "Innocent When You Dream" in Houston in June 2008. For those of you who don't believe this man's an utter genius, hopefully this will change your mind.

My Interests



I'd like to meet:


MONTHLY PEARLS OF WISDOM: Always be happy with what you paid for...BEST PICKUP LINE EVER:

Music:

The Black Crowes, "Amorica" Sigur Ros, "Agaetis Byrjun" David Bowie, "The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars" Wu-Tang Clan, "Enter the Wu-Tang"Bruce Springsteen, "Born to Run"King Curtis, "Live at Fillmore West"Wilco, "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot"The Kinks, "Lola vs. Powerman and the Moneygoround" Buena Vista Social ClubJoe Strummer and the Mescaleros, "Global a Go-Go" The Rolling Stones, "Exile on Main Street" Air, "Moon Safari" Sade, "Lovers Rock" Radiohead, "OK Computer" Oasis, "(What's The Story) Morning Glory?" Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, "The Boatman's Call" Miles Davis, "Kind of Blue"The Clash, "London Calling"Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band, "Clear Spot" Jamiroquai, "Traveling Without Moving" Bob Dylan, "Blood on the Tracks" Weezer, "Pinkerton" Tom Waits, "Rain Dogs" The Shins, "Oh, Inverted World"Pulp, "Different Class" Stone Temple Pilots, "Shangri-La-Dee-Da" Pink Floyd, "The Wall" Jurassic 5, "Quality Control" The Flaming Lips, "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots"The Harder They Come Brian Eno, "Apollo: Atmospheres and Soundtracks" The White Stripes, "Elephant" Morcheeba, "Charango"Serge Gainsbourg, "Histoire de Melody Nelson" UGK, "Dirty Money"Elliott Smith, "Figure 8" Badly Drawn Boy, "The Hour of Bewilderbeast"Mogwai, "Mr. Beast" Warren Zevon, "Excitable Boy"

Movies:

Godfather 1 & 2; Raging Bull; Oldboy; Lost Highway; Down by Law; Cobra Verde; High and Low (Tengoku to jigoku); A Clockwork Orange; Jules et Jim; Indiana Jones 1 & 3; Once Upon a Time in the West; Apocalypse Now; No Country For Old Men; City of God; The Passenger; Network; Fight Club; 2001: A Space Odyssey; There Will Be Blood; Paris, Texas; Goodfellas; Manhattan; Duck, You Sucker; Todo Sobre Mi Madre; Joe Versus the Volcano; Training Day; The Prestige; Contempt (Le Mepris); Anchorman; Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead; JFK; Blade Runner; Aguirre: The Wrath of God; The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly; Chungking Express; Stranger Than Paradise; Irreversible; Sideways; Layer Cake; Dead Man; The Player; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; The Usual Suspects; Fargo; Unforgiven; Conan the Barbarian; Requiem for a Dream; Killing Zoe; Trois Colours (Blue, White, Red); The Elephant Man; True Romance; The Big Lebowski; Battle Royale; Taxi Driver; Shaun of the Dead; Children of Men; Gattaca; Y Tu Mama Tambien; Die Hard; Miller's Crossing; Predator; In the Bedroom; Aliens; Funny Games; Crimes and Misdemeanors; Narc; Fitzcarraldo; Hable Con Ella; The Squid and The Whale; Platoon; Spy Game; Barton Fink; Terminator 2; Rain Man; Scarface; Tommy Boy; Crimson Tide; Seven Samurai

Television:



Books:

Moby-Dick (Herman Melville); Blood Meridian (Cormac McCarthy); Blindness (Jose Saramago); The Master and Margarita (Mikhail Bulgakov); Love in the Time of Cholera (Gabriel Garcia Marquez); Revolutionary Road (Richard Yates); White Noise (Don DeLillo); A Confederacy of Dunces (John Kennedy Toole); Grimus (Salman Rushdie); Still Life with Woodpecker (Tom Robbins); JR (William Gaddis); Twilight of the Idols (Friedrich Nietzsche); Disgrace (J.M. Coetzee); Nostromo (Joseph Conrad); Cat's Cradle (Kurt Vonnegut); The Human Stain (Philip Roth); Gravity's Rainbow (Thomas Pynchon); Atonement (Ian McEwan); Glitz (Elmore Leonard); In Search of Lost Time (Marcel Proust); North Dallas Forty (Peter Gent); Survivor (Chuck Pahlaniuk); How to Be Good (Nick Hornby); Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov); The Philosophy of Existentialism (Gabriel Marcel); American Psycho (Bret Easton Ellis)

My Blog

The Leading Brand

I always find it interesting how we as Americans are so quick to welch on the many declarations we once held so dear. Back in the day, it was a point of pride to be the BEST, to strive the HIGHEST,&nb...
Posted by Brandon on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 09:25:00 PST

Simon Cowell is my hero

Every year around this time, despite my best efforts, I am constantly drawn into the fray that is "American Idol." It's a gimmicky show, one full of both blatant and subliminal adverstisements (t...
Posted by Brandon on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 07:02:00 PST

The Gospel According to Bayside

Was there ever a greater show than "Saved by the Bell?" The answer, of course, is absolutely not. For this generation, no other program ever provided a glimpse of the future to come with so much presu...
Posted by Brandon on Wed, 24 May 2006 12:36:00 PST