Who am I? I think that I've been trying to figure that one out for about the past ten years or so. Every time that I believe that I've gotten a grasp on it, it slips away. I am completely evnveloped in my own self pity, and uselessness. I've never dealt with any major drug addiction, but I imagine that depression is about as hard a habit to kick as anything out there. I'm going on six years or more of fighting, and there times when I'm certain that I've lost for good.
So about half way through high school, I got sick of that, and tested out. I then moved to the great old state of California. Have you ever noticed how just about everyone who moves out of their po-dunk town usually ends up somehow in California?...What can I say I follow the crowd(well not really, I would have been happy to go to Iowa if it could have gotten me out of Utah at the time). Oh well enough of that;
So after getting somewhat over a fairly serious battle with depression I found myself in Sac working for a good for nothing pizza joint, where I ate a pizza a day because, one I was poor, and two, pizza is good! In doing so I gained about fifty pounds (mind you I was already fat to begin with so this was by definately not pretty).
I quit that, got a good job, and bought a car. I then quit that job to start school, ended up losing the car, failing a few semesters out of either depression, or laziness. I haven't figured it out for sure which. I found a great woman who manages to put with a good majority of my shit.
So I'm still fat, kind of stupid, and depressed... but on the whole i'm a fairly happy guy. With any luck eventually I'll actually make my through school, make a life for myself, and prove that even if you get kicked a few times in the neck by fate, you can turn it around.
To the important stuff : I consider myself to be pretty smart, just lazy and innept. I have a wonderful sense of humor, but the only person that I've ever been able to find who enjoys it is myself. There is no better feeling in the world than saying something that no one could possibly understand, laughing out loud alone, then having to go back and try to explain, even though they will never find it funny in the least, how it was supposed to make sense, and be hilarious. Ummm, I'm a terrible musician, yet i want to be great. (practicing would help, but there in lies the laziness problem) I've yet to meet someone that I haven't made hate me at least for a little while, and no matter what I try my dog will not stop eating the toes off of my socks and vomiting them up for me to clean a few hours later.
