Crash the Navigator profile picture

Crash the Navigator

I am here for Friends

About Me

I am a generally upright, bipedal, largely-hairless ape from the temperate timberland of what is now Washington State.I feel like I have fought like hell to regain/preserve my sanity - only to learn that, for the vast majority, sanity is a valueless, confederate currency. I am thus misunderstood by just about everyone I have ever met. Sometimes I tell a joke just to feel a fleeting connection. I am married to a woman of virtue and am the father of a three year old girl. I have taken the really really long way around and by now have arrived at a comfortable place where I feel like I can finally blend in a bit. I like chocolate malts and I have fond memories. I mow the lawn and take down the Christmas lights. I am a fan of the Drive-In theater and I floss pretty regularly. I'm alright. . ..
Myspace Layouts

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Bigfoot. Fred Rogers. Pete Seeger. My grandfather as a young man. The paramedics who found me when I most needed finding.

My Blog

Relative Cool

It has often been remarked upon that the quality of "coolness" is entirely relative.  It varies accross cultures, generations, and even among individual members of a single demographic, some say....
Posted by on Fri, 15 Feb 2008 07:21:00 GMT

Tiger Money

It's always sad when a young man is cut down in the prime of his life - less so, though, when he is savagely mauled to death by the captive tiger he had been taunting.  Then there's somethin...
Posted by on Fri, 28 Dec 2007 08:42:00 GMT

- On Father's Day

      I was putting my daughter into her car seat this afternoon.  We were leaving the grocery store where we'd been shopping for a Father's Day card.  I'd just spen...
Posted by on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 18:29:00 GMT

. . . found a corpse

True story.  It's summer and I'm 13.  Kevin and I are staying at some kind of campground-cum-resort outside Olympia.  This is a long time ago, and I'm sure there's some retarded cul de ...
Posted by on Mon, 22 Jan 2007 19:06:00 GMT

Poor Rory. Poor me.

Have you heard?  Apparently, there is some very damning evidence that the NHL intentionally manipulated the tabulation of All Star votes cast by fans this year.  The idea was to thwart the g...
Posted by on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 19:29:00 GMT

May Twenty-third

The day before Bob Dylan's birthday is fast approaching.  In preparation, I have updated my personal list of 100 favorite Dylan songs and picked up a new copy of The Times They Are A-Changing to ...
Posted by on Thu, 18 May 2006 21:25:00 GMT

A recent dream

I had a dream, very recently.  In it, my wife and I were revisiting an inn in a very small town in Vermont where we once spent a few days of our honeymoon.  As she slept, I was exploring th...
Posted by on Thu, 27 Apr 2006 16:28:00 GMT

Candiru Prank

In my tribe, they circumsize at puberty.  When you begin to show secondary male sex characteristics, usually around 12 or 13, they lead you down to this river with the rest of the boys your ...
Posted by on Fri, 27 Jan 2006 08:25:00 GMT

one last thing on Hedberg

I used to say Mitch Hedberg died of a drug overdose - I still do, but I used to, too. If you sense just a little hostility in that - you're okay.  It's in there.  I am a guy who liked Mitch....
Posted by on Fri, 06 Jan 2006 08:52:00 GMT

Moment of Clarity

I have a pet catfish.  I was just sitting in the dining room watching him.  He's laying in his log.  Just laying there, doing nothing.  Maybe waiting to be fed, but not in any hurr...
Posted by on Wed, 04 Jan 2006 20:54:00 GMT