Noise, beer, cats, cribbage, girl geeks, laughing at jerks, smoking, driving, writing, arguing, blowing stuff up, being satirical, not making much sense, meeting people to whom I do make sense, being an uncle, erratic sleeping patterns, asymmetry, startling people with my Michael McDonald impression, waking up on a cold dreary rainy morning then realizing it's Saturday and I have absolutely no responsibilities that day and I can go the hell back to sleep and then wake up at 1 and get stoned and watch the "Law & Order: SVU" marathon all day, doing that for a couple of hours and then deciding I'd rather do something productive, AM Gold, the phrase "How about a big heaping bowl of dealing with it?", lefty political blogs, poking badgers with spoons, throwing rabbits up trees, road trips, crossword puzzles, being really bad at shooting pool but doing it anyway, singing standards, flagrant violation of the "No Horseplay" rule at public swimming pools, punk rock shows in warehouses in creepy parts of Oakland, gallivanting, monkeyshines, shenanigans, rapscallionism, tomfoolery.
Jokers, smokers, midnight tokers. Sarah Silverman. Toni Freeland. Children of the night and/or the corn. Men, or astro-men. Other makers of noisy violent art punk. Pam from "The Office." Two men skilled in climbing mountains. The chubby underwear women from the billboard ads. Jandek. Briggs and Stratton, or, failing that, Benson and Hedges. Ann Coulter, but only once I become famous enough to snub her at a social gathering. Natalie from "Monk." The "It's A Fact" girl.
Attention bands! If I haven't heard of you, don't add me! Go to my band's space - The Sharp Chuckies - and add us. We'll take anyone.
Tom Waits, Neil Young, Sonic Youth, Led Zeppelin, The Sharp Chuckies, David Bowie, Lightning Bolt, Einstürzende Neubauten, Beatles, Swans, Shellac, AC/DC, mc chris, Naomi Hall, Sonny Sharrock, M.I.A., Boredoms, Ramones, OutKast, Rod Torfulson's Armada Featuring Herman Menderchuck, Rolling Stones, Curtis Mayfield, Velvet Underground, Daniel Johnston, Buddy Holly, Black Flag, Flipper, Throbbing Gristle, Melvins, David Bromberg, Duke Ellington, Jandek, Tim Buckley, Wild Man Fischer, Nico, Bo Diddley, Sigur Rós, Alexander "Skip" Spence, Low, Isis, Iggy Pop, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Janis Joplin, Jimmy Scott, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Lenny and the Squigtones, Bob Dylan, Captain Beefheart, Yoko Ono, Butthole Surfers, Can, Mission of Burma, Frank Sinatra, Jimi Hendrix, Flaming Lips, Weird Al Yankovic, Isaac Hayes, John Coltrane, Godflesh, Meat Puppets, Jonathan Edwards, Gilbert & Sullivan, Black Sabbath, Tom Lehrer, Bobby Darin, Albert Ayler, Laddio Bolocko, Brainbombs, Pink Floyd, Medicine, Slayer, Blue Cheer, Todd Rundgren, Suicide, Miles Davis, Radiohead
The works of the Coen Brothers, Wes Anderson, Robert Altman, Quentin Tarentino, Stanley Kubrick, Nicolas Roeg, Jim Jarmusch, Richard Linklater, Sam Raimi, David Cronenberg, and George Romero. Old Hammer/Amicus horror movies with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Roger Corman/Vincent Price/Edgar Allan Poe flicks.
Shaun of the Dead, High Fidelity, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Airplane!, Jaws, Tremors, Alien(s), The Godfather I & II, LA Confidential, Goodfellas, The Usual Suspects, Donnie Darko, Groundhog Day, So I Married An Axe Murderer, Jandek on Corwood, Head, Almost Famous, Lightning Bolt: The Power Of Salad, Pootie Tang, Gimme Shelter, Heat, Fight Club, Trainspotting, Short Cuts, Easy Rider, Ju-on, the pre-"Greedo-shoots-first" Star Wars trilogy, Raiders of the Lost Ark before they do God knows what to it
Cartoons, cops and comedies: Futurama, The Simpsons, Law & Order (all of them), The Shield, Family Guy, Scrubs, Arrested Development, The Daily Show, Monk, My Name Is Earl, The Office, South Park, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Malcolm In The Middle, Kids In The Hall, Mr. Show, Chappelle's Show. And especially LOST.
Hells Angels (Hunter S. Thompson, RIP), The Alienist (Caleb Carr), The World According To Garp (John Irving), Ragtime (E.L. Doctorow), Songs In The Key Of Z: The Curious Universe Of Outsider Music (Irwin Chusid), To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee), Our Band Could Be Your Life (Michael Azerrad), High Fidelity (Nick Hornby). Harry Potter. Calvin and Hobbes. The works of Neil Gaiman, Douglas Adams, Daniel M. Pinkwater, Phillip K. Dick, Roald Dahl, Kurt Vonnegut, James Ellroy, Robert Crais, Robert B. Parker, Tony Hillerman, Dave Barry, Carl Hiaasen, Preston/Child and Elmore Leonard. Websites for reading: theonion.com, plastic.com, boingboing.net, allmusic.com, imdb.com, huffingtonpost.com, crooksandliars.com and wikipedia.org.
Bender B. Rodriguez my parents, John Bonham Maureen Tucker Norton I (Emperor of These United States and Protector of Mexico) Bob Newhart
Jon Stewart, John Waters, George Carlin, Vincent Price, Chris Elliot, Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, Andy Kaufman, Dewey on "Malcolm In The Middle," Dr. Cox on "Scrubs." Whoever the opposite of Tara Reid is.