Matt profile picture

Matt

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I enjoy being around people who know when to use the words there, they're or their correctly in a sentence. I never wear a watch but I'm always on time. I don't like people who talk during movies. I never stop to ask for directions when I'm driving. My dog is cooler than yours. I firmly believe that spooning leads to forking and that the cell phone is there for your convenience, not the caller's.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

People who dress their dogs. Or paint their cat's toenails. Did you say people I'd like to meet or people I'd like to watch get eaten alive by an angry flock of Grackles? Because those people should be eaten by Grackles.

Listen to the Evil Grackle Sing his Song of Death!

An Asian woman with a Ghetto booty, only because I'm convinced she doesn't exist. That's right, I capitalized Ghetto. Painfully trendy hipster haters who work for $6 an hour but somehow end up having the coolest places to live.

Oh, and these guys too.

My Blog

Insomnia

If anyone has ever attempted to watch an entire episode of the Late, Late Show with Carson Daly, I pity you.
Posted by on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 02:22:00 GMT

Douchebag of the Year!

I'm at a loss for words.  Meet George W. Bush's nephew. Do yourself a favor and click the link, scroll to the bottom for a YouTube clip of one, Pierce Bush.  God help us all. Know what I'm...
Posted by on Fri, 23 Jun 2006 20:55:00 GMT

Because I'm never home on Saturday night

Maybe you've seen these, maybe not.  I honestly can't remember the last time I watched an entire episode of Saturday Night Live.  But after hearing people talk about some of their new skits,...
Posted by on Sun, 07 May 2006 12:23:00 GMT

In case you haven't seen this

There's a cat.......wearing a tuxedo......surfing....
Posted by on Fri, 24 Feb 2006 17:31:00 GMT

BBQ Cowboys

Austin is great.  I'm very happy that I moved here a few months ago.  Work is work wherever you go, but it's great to be living in such an outgoing city.  People are friendly, easy to m...
Posted by on Wed, 22 Feb 2006 19:36:00 GMT

I don't care what LL Cool J says...

...radio is for suckas.  I can live without my radio.  And this is the justification I needed for buying into XM over 2 years ago. I told you John Mayer's music was garbage The synopsis of...
Posted by on Wed, 08 Feb 2006 19:41:00 GMT

Who will mow your lawn?!?!?

This isn't official yet, state legislators still have to vote on it.  But it looks like Haliburton is going to expand their wall-building division. The Great Wall of Texas
Posted by on Mon, 19 Dec 2005 22:12:00 GMT

Here it is, your lump of coal

So instead of buying Christmas presents for friends and family this year, I decided to be a cheapskate and make a present.  No, there will be no macaroni glued to construction paper or glitter-co...
Posted by on Sun, 18 Dec 2005 11:23:00 GMT

Vote for Virtuous Shell!

This looks absolutely amazing... Napoleon Explosive
Posted by on Thu, 15 Dec 2005 20:03:00 GMT

My dog is my pimp

Ladies love me, girls adore me, I mean even the ones that barely saw me... My First Missed Connection Having a dog in this town is like walking into a strip club wearing a cocaine suit.  Thank ...
Posted by on Sun, 04 Dec 2005 16:32:00 GMT