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Oleksandr was born in the Soviet Union sometime during the late 80's to a Ukrainian ballet dancer and an unknown East German New Wave artist. After the breakup of the Soviet Union, Oleksandr, his mother, and his babushka abandoned their native Kiev to head west, eventually settling in Marseille in the south of France. There he spent his youth playing cards with drunken sailors and trying to get into the trousers of French schoolboys. After a freak unicycle accident, causing his mother to loose her left leg, Oleksandr was forced to support his family by various questionable means including pick pocketing and swindling. After an ingenious though nevertheless failed attempt involving a cork screw, several transvestites, and a red umbrella to loot a Monegasque casino (though he did manage to steal the purse of fat German marchioness), Oleksandr disappeared. To this day he is believed to be lying low somewhere in the Swiss Alps. He enjoys Earl Grey tea, collecting ashtrays, and fabricating outlandish stories. He dreams of one day becoming an astronaut - or a call boy.