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My farts cut like a knife! They hurt when I push real hard and finally come out like I'm giving birth. They smell like a dead rat, I think it's because I eat alot of protien. I try to saty away from carbs, carbs don't give me gas and well I don't like that. I try to save my farts for this guy I work with , whenever he looks in the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet...I cut a stinker. It's usually a silent but violent one. And man it's grody..I love to see the look on his face like "whats that smell"? I always blame it on the sewer cus we work right by the beach and have the windows open. If I had it my way I would make him take a bong toke of my fanny burp. I would force lips right up to my bum bum! Yeah I am a sick fuck I know, you have'nt heard nothing yet... I hate to tell you what I do to my dates. Somtimes I have diareah and when my lover and I are making love...well I let it flow and say oopsy, my bad! I love the fact that they never call me back after that happens and I usually do it cus I'm sick of lookin at thier fucken ugly face and listening to them go off cus they never shut thir pie hole. I usually date bitches..like guys who like Jorney and areo speed wagon. so enough about my psycho ass!