ANTHONY O'NEIL profile picture

ANTHONY O'NEIL

Thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies.

About Me

I talk to myself a lot because most people are just plain old fucking stupid. Money motivated. Love vanilla pudding and pecan pie. I'm homeless, which is actually kinda cool, believe it or not. Business minded. Not a professional. Not very "PC." Favor getting to the point. Extremely liberal. Really, really, really, really silly. I find humor in almost anything. In most movies I watch I laugh the loudest and hardest. And it's not because I'm "stereotypically black." Most shit is just really funny to me. I'm constantly changing. I'm easy going. Vanilla pudding. Retarded at times. Constantly thinking about the future. I'm a scale twister. I still eat my boogers. Those fuckers are delicious. If I had to choose between good head and great pussy, I'd go with head. Love Wal-Mart. I buy and sell everything under the sun from PS3's (I have one left, by the way) to shit I find at yard sales that people didn't know had more value. My credit sucks, but I'm working on it. Vanilla pudding. I read people very well. And right now, I'm going to sleep. Word.

My Interests

To get as far away from poor as possible. Vanilla pudding. Boy do I love vanilla pudding!!!!!!! Not dating or F'ing around. Odd but true. So please save it. I don't want to hear about how great your stink box is, how you can clap your poo shooter, or how soft your milk squirters are.

I'd like to meet:

Tards. Chunky Pam. A stereotypical Jew. An Albino would be nice. Vanilla pudding. Maybe a midget or two would be cool, too. DEAF PEOPLE!!!! And I'm so serious. I really want to meet deaf people. After watching that movie "Babel" I wanted to meet one soooooooooo bad. Ummmm, that's it. Oh, and God. But that's just so I can belt him right across the lips for letting me down the one time in 25 years that I asked for, and really needed his help. FAG!

Music:

I love the sound of car crashes. Hearing people cry is pretty sweet.

Movies:

Almost every Saturday, by myself. And I intend to keep it that way. That's my "alone time."

Television:

Reality happens every second of your life. Whether you're eating potato chips, humping, taking a shower, getting fired, or giving the asshole who just cut you off a middle finger so strong that it feels like it's about to shoot off your hand. So why sit your dumb ass down in front of a tv for hours and watch another persons ratings induced reality? You should have your rights to being a human revoked for having such a hapless interest in others. Get up and go do something, you asshole.

Books:

Pretty much anything that has to do with business ownership, web illustration/design, and photography.

Heroes:

1.The Tourettes Guy. In my opinion he is better than God (who is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay at the bottom of my list). 2.The lady at the Hess in Brandon who I handed a $20 to, asked for $10 on pump five, and she handed me another $20 as change, and cut the pump on for $20 in gas (true story). 3. Oh yeah, and those people who give out free samples at Sam's Club. You can go back time after time after time, and they just keep on giving up the goods. They kick ass!!!!!

My Blog

Words of the Unwise.

I have nutty conversations.Below is a list of snippets or full convos (where appropriate) that either baffled me, were funny as hell, or were just so far off kilter that I felt they should be shared, ...
Posted by ANTHONY O'NEIL on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 09:43:00 PST

I Might Be Going Crazy.

Now, before you read on, know that I'm reasonably intelligent. I'm pretty sure that I'm not a nut because I've seen nuts on tv, and said to myself "That guy/girl is a fucking nut job.." and as the sho...
Posted by ANTHONY O'NEIL on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 01:51:00 PST

Anthony O'Neil Was Bored.

1. WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR LAST EX IF YOU COULD?Only if she agreed to eat a self-made snicker bar from my ass. Then I'd laugh my ass off because there isnt a chance in hell that Im getting back w...
Posted by ANTHONY O'NEIL on Mon, 03 Jul 2006 10:32:00 PST

I Can't Get My Grown Man On.

So, I'm standing in line at Wal-Mart eating a booger. I look to my right. There's a little girl. She's sticking her tongue out at me. I can handle this. Middle finger. Gotcha, pee-on. I've won. No. Sh...
Posted by ANTHONY O'NEIL on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 06:08:00 PST

What You Should Get Anthony O'Neil If You Plan On Being Friends With Him 12-26-06 At 12:01a.m.

Below Are Your Only Choices: 1. An H2 turbo-charged with 30' rims that I will later sell to a person (asshole) who actually finds value in purchases like that. 2. Texas. 3. Head. 4. Fairuza Balk...
Posted by ANTHONY O'NEIL on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:15:00 PST

Title: If You Were My Parent, I'd Kill Myself

Scene One: Let's Get Ready To Rumble!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kinda. Well......   I'm at Flying J's pumping gas. I don't want to be. Im fat. Its hotter than a teenage girl backstage at a rock concert. Plus...
Posted by ANTHONY O'NEIL on Sat, 19 Aug 2006 12:55:00 PST