"Broken, She Has Her Arms Twisted, is Pointing At Me"
"I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn"
I am Vegan and
Straight Edge.
I am agnostic,
I adore reading and writing, and do so as often as possible.
Music is a large part of my life, and I listen to it for most of the day. I have way too much of it on my computer. My music style is very sporadic, do not be surprised to hear both Bach and Metallica coming from my speakers.
I rarely watch TV, and if I do it is to watch House, Bones, or Eureka.
My favorite movies include but are not limited to: The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Sweeney Todd, The Fountain, and Children of Men.
I am eighteen, though half the time I feel more like forty.
I spend most of my time at school.
I am a World of Warcraft player, and I sadly waste a lot of my life away on that game, but it is way too much fun.
I spend way too much time on the computer, either writing, listening to music, playing wow, or occasionally, even doing homework. Though that's rare.
Though I do loathe photos of myself, I tend to take a lot of them. The body is a piece of art, as is modeling and photography.
So yes, I do model,
I tend to think too much.
"Your Face is as Mean as Your Life Has Been"
"On the inside of this marble house I grow
And the seeds I sow will grow up prisoners too
I raise my hands to heaven of curiosity
I don't know what to ask for, what has it got for me?"
"A Pound of Flesh for Paradise"
I won't say I'm something I'm not. I am who I am.
You will have to decide how I fit into your life and your perceptions, not the other way around.
I have very specific beliefs that others tend to find odd.
My beliefs are just that, my beliefs. Do not try to change my perceptions and I will not try to change yours. That is not to say, however, that I do not enjoy healthy conversation.
All I can hope to do is to live my life how I deem right, and hope that you will do the same for yourself and find happiness in that.
I can get along with a wide range of different people, but only if you make an effort as well. I cannot do it all by myself. If you make an effort, so will I.
What Isn't Simple
"You gave me a life,
Now show me how to live."
I'm the girl who wears make-up, not because she doesn't think she's pretty, but because she likes it. If I'm not wearing any make-up, it means I'm feeling particularly vulnerable that day, and I'm not going to let myself hide behind a mask.
I will never think that I am good enough for anything that I wish to do.
I will always be there for every single person I ever meet, you must remember that when you need someone.
I have endless layers, if you think you understand me, you likely don't.
I tend to be violent, and I dislike that about myself.
Every small thing you say to me, whether it be joking or not, can slice into me and cause me to think about everything I've said or done wrong for the past twenty four hours.
My defenses may seem strange, they may annoy you, but it's how I survive. Please give me the same courtesy and love I give you.
"Blacking out,
Casted out I'm watching your eyes bleed dry
Touch with frustrated lips
Love is like starting over,
With every step engraving the problems of memories."
Inspirations
"As you get older you will gain a bit more control over everything. Don't let anyone, even your parents, break you. Find good people who care about you and surround yourself with just them. If you can't find them at first, find good music and fall into it, let it hold you until they come." -Davey Havok
"Do what you feel is right for you, no matter what. Believe in yourself, no matter how many people tell you that you're fucked up, do what you have to do. AS LONG as it doesn't infringe on other people's happiness." -A.F.I.
"I find drug use disrespectful, self-destructive, and weak. I want no part of it. I believe in complete respect for myself and others." -Davey Havok
"Personally I have never found the practice of recreational drug use appealing. In fact, I have always found the lifestyle and the people who surround it to be abhorrent. I never quite understood why anyone would risk sacrificing their bodies, minds, and relationships at the expense of a quick damaging high. I grew up in a small town and at my high school, like every high school, every one's recreation of choice was drug abuse. I never understood it. I never took part and always felt quite alone in this decision. Then one day I discovered a band called Minor Threat and realized that there were more people out there who thought like me. I was very excited to say the least, and what was more encouraging, these people were part of the oh-so self-destructive punk scene. From that day on I claimed the X. I continue to do so today because I believe the sXe philosophy is a very positive one that many people, especially young people, can benefit from greatly if they have the desire." -Davey Havok
"There's such a lack of responsibility for one's actions in the world, selfishness, and a great destruction in the way people live their lives. It's all instant gratification, and who cares how my instant gratification affects those around me, or on a small personal level or a global level. The way people treat each other is truly disgusting, and we've created an environment through advances in science and technology that allows for a very septic society to thrive. And we breed and breed, and all the wrong people breed while all the right people don't want to have children because they don't want to place them in this world." -Davey Havok