Lena[art!]

I like Ice Cream...who doesn't? Well there are some people who don't, but that statement seemed befitting for that analysis...I just want to let you know that right now (7:06 pm, Nov 18th, 2006) I'm laughing hysterical...why? I haven't got a clue. That's the weird thing, last week...exactly a week after my 17th birthday, the most remarkable thing happened. What you asked (well if you are reading this I hoped you said that, haha)? I can't go into detail, but as result of the scenerio, I stopped feeling emo and depressed. Funny how things that are suppose to hurt, really relieve you of all stress, whether it be physical or mental, or both. But the reason for that was to prove that things beyond our control happen...at first we may see it as a threat or just plain bad...but in the end it was there to help us. That brings me to another thing, I'm going to try and stop being so analytical over everything...and pesimistic also. I have this weird problem with being happy...I feel like I'm not suppose to be happy...that's b.s. We should all strive to be happy and do things that make up happy and if people truly care for you the way they say...then they will be happy. *** "I'm having a day from hell, didn't sit with my face too well (Not again)...L.A. lights never shine quite as bright in the movies, still wanna go? There's something here, in the way that we are constantly moving, it reminds me of home. So You're taking these pills to fill up your soul and you are drinking them down with cheap alcohol, and I'd be inclined to be yours for the taking, but part of this terrible mess that you are making. Me, I'm the cataylst...Now I have freezin' hands and bloodless veins, is numb as I've become. I'm so tired, I wish I was the moon tonight." *** "So you lied to me, thinking that you'd be safe from my wrath if you could blame it on my jealousy. But it's time to let it go...I want the world to know, that because of your deceit, I am happy and free. Free of being bounded to you by my love for you. Yes I can admitt that over the course of this so called relationship, your promiscious tendencies caused me heartache and pain, especially when I told brothas no when they came and directed their lines my way. You think you're cute, trying to blame sh** on me, but you see, you have no control over me. I am, I will always be free...So don't try to come back, like Alicia said, Karma is a B****. She creeps up on you unexpectedly, and takes whatever and leaves you cold and alone...sort of how you thought you left me. But I can say now that I am, I will always be free...Now, do you have any response for me?" *** Now I think I want that Ice Cream...lol. Gosh I feel a litte emo after that "poem". Maybe that Ice Cream would help...no music. Maybe something fast like Regina Spektor or Rachael Yamagata...haha. This is long, and thanks if you are reading this. Like me you must be bored and have nothing else to do...well I do, homework. But who wants to do that on a Saturday night? Nevermind, don't answer, that was a rhetorical question, but I bet someone thought that they should answer...Another boring day, but that song, "Dear Friend" really got to me. It reminded me of some past personal experiences...funny, I mean how someone can write something and not even know that it is exactly what another is feeling *sigh*.Left in the dark, cold hands comfort me...Unsure what tomorrow will bring. Brusies, pain, friends of mine...seen each other everyday. Angry words smack me, and evoke a fear embedded deep inside. Demonic instinsts pressure the fuse. Unable to fathom a positive view, shackles eventually bound my cold, bloodless hands together. Funny how things are reversed...Foggy looking glasses imprint an ugly image, noteworthy comments are engraved in my brain. Laughter of yesteryear seem faraway. No matter how hard I try, to erase depressing memomentos, their devious voices chatter. Suppressed in an obscure imagery of myself, I notice ill creatures lurking about in my mind. Awake, but all consciousness is lost. My words are jumbled into a heap of babbling noises...I lie awake at night, starring at the ceiling, blissfully ignorant. A voice, so soft, but so audible repeatively hums. I kick, I scream, I thrash around intangling my body in my covers...what is that sound? No one knows...like the dilluisonal images and creatures, I find a bit too late, that it was all in my head.