For Maximum Enjoyment on All Levels, apply directly to the back of throat.
Stuff like this makes me happy.
Stuff like this makes me laugh:
Things I am into are:
My wife. Riding my bike. Good times with good peeps. Slayer. Rollin' up a fatty for the players to smoke. Music. Learning to play guitar. My dog. Chico is the best dog in the world. Slayer. Fixed Gears. Single Speeds. Firearms. Explosives. Blowing shit up. Camping. Road trips. Road head. Inward Singing. Setting shit on fire. Stockpiling ammunition. Green ammo boxes. Cooking and eating food. Bar-B-Q's and Bar-B-Cueing. BBQ sauces. Hot sauces. Asian sauces. Silent assassins. Kittens and puppies. Giving someone a mouthfull of Bloody Chicklets. Going to shows. Going to GOOD shows. SLAYER. Knives. Brass Knuckles and Belt Buckles. Hot sex in the cool rain. Choke Fucking. And skulls, I collect skulls. Books. Reading. Writing. Writing evil and violent short stories. Movies. GOOD movies. Rare and real horror films. Art. Watching art. Creating art. Tattoos and tattoo art. Things that rhyme with "art". Caddy Shack. The Oakland Raiders. Golfing. Riding bikes. Snowboarding. Skateboarding. Dirtbikes. Playing pool. Playing Bones, Oak-Town rules...DOMINOE MUTHAFUCKA! Using at least one 80's Cali word in every sentence I speak (ie: awesome, rad, totally, hella, hecka, awesometastic, radtacular, bodacious, bogus, tight). Chipped toenail and fingernail polish. Sex. Murder. Art. SLAYER. Porn. Metal. Punk rock, not punk rockers. Watching bar fights. Trying to stay out of bar fights. Swearing. Climbing up on stuff. Jumping off of stuff. Kicking things. Punching. Tattoos. Reptiles. Knives. Stabbing. Cutting. Choking. Playing grab ass on the train. Trains. Train stations. Train tracks. Train wrecks. Porn. Road trips. Smoking. Zippos. M.F.P. Motorcycles-Firearms-& Pussy. Riding bikes. Fixies only. Firearms. Explosives. The smell of gun cleaning sovlents and/or a freshly cleaned and/or a freshly fired gun. Tic Tac, the one and a half calorie breath mint. I like the orange ones. Making out. Being in good company. Laying on the grass or sand dunes with my BEAN!. Beaches. Tree forts. Breaking wind. Cheese. Bacon. Bacon cheeseburgers. Food. I love to cook. Eating. Cooking for people. Making people laugh. People making me laugh. Acting. Acting like a jackass. Being an asshole. Being nice. I can go on for hours.
No one is gonna read all this. The queers are ruining the soil.
I already met her.
And every day I love her more.
I like the songs that start out slow then get fast and all crazy...yeah, like that.And Slayer.
I have developed ADD in my old age so I prefer shorts as of late...
I mostly like old horror and stories of drugs and crime. Demonic stuff. Good comedies.
And porn. I like the porn.
Take it or leave it. Most of it is crap.
I do like Family Guy, Heroes, The Office, My Name Is Earl, CSI:Las Vegas, Lost, the Food Network, Discovery Channel and the History Channel. And Comedy Central.
And South Park...huh-huh...
Don't even get me started. I guess I'll just name some authors...Brett Easton Ellis, Irvine Welsh, Bukowski, Chuck Palhniuk, Aldou Huxely, Kurt Vonnegut, Anthony Burgess, Ray Bradbury, Anton Szandor LaVey...there are more. Many more.
Fuck your heroes.
Emma
Jason Mewes
S.M.M. 1942-2003