Wholesome Alaskan fun!
Be inspired and/or orgasm by my shitty artwork at DeviantArt.
Look for me at Hoofshots , the only message board I actually post on.
Want to be visually violated? Goto my YouTube and get your wish (probably just end up getting bored though)
PickleHat Hall-O-Fame (A work in progress)
Pink Wig Hall-O-Fame (Also a work in progress)
..My name is Joe and everything after this sentence is 100% true. I live in Wasilla Alaska and enjoy pissing in snow. I have a pet stapler that probably has more function in society than you. I make sure to maintain a healthy prostate. I don't keep track of the time. I never wear a coat even in winter. I can wiggle my ears. I enjoy cracking my knuckles when I squish a mosquito to simulate the sound of it's back breaking. 50 Cent reminds me of a gorilla who got loose in a gym for several months. I never look in mirrors. If countries could be heroes, Israel would be mine. I often walk slowly through the detergent aisle of stores because I love the smell so much. I believe in aliens. I'm severely Anemic. I probably have several illegitimate children in Moscow, Singapore, Australia and Kentucky. I clean my hands too much. I find most porn boring. I own a basketball but have never even held it. I wish I was MacGuyver. I can cook some fucking awesome meals. If I have to tie a pair of shoes more than once from the time of purchase, I consider myself a failure. My perfectionist/neatfreak side and my slob/lazy side often clash in epic battles resulting in a barely noticable outcome. I only write in pen because I never make mistakes. Sloths scare the complete shit out of me, yet I want one named Intercepter as a pet. My goal in life is to become the first actual Jedi or get my own entry in Wikipedia. It's almost impossible to disgust or shock me. Wet socks infuriate me. I don't understand how solar panels work and it really upsets me. I wish Jesus was my drinking buddy. I'm an anti-dentite. I puked in the holy water while being baptized. The "~" key makes me giggle. I've had way too many close encounters with zippers. I bit a large chunk of barsoap off once when little and really liked it. Magnets are silly. Lastly I feel bad for anyone with enough time on their hands to read everything above this sentence.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Joseph Robert Drago
Birthday: February 6th
Birthplace: Ashville, North Carolina
Current Location: Dub-Town, Alaska
Eye Color: I can't see my own eyes.
Hair Color: Dark brown ... kinda turning black now.
Height: 6 foot something.
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Italian/German/Irish/Awesome
The Shoes You Wore Today: Loafers baby.
Your Weakness: Bullets and O-Ethyl-S-[2(diisopropylaminoethyl] methylphosphonothioic acid
Your Fears: Having Q-Tip fuzz get stuck in my ear.
Your Perfect Pizza: One that gives birth to a litter of mini pizzas when I command it to.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Not die.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol
Thoughts First Waking Up: Why are my boxers in my pant's pocket?
Your Best Physical Feature: My left pinky toe?
Your Bedtime: Whenever I fall asleep
Your Most Missed Memory: If it's a missed memory, how am I suppose to remember it to write it, moron.
Pepsi or Coke: Ginger Ale
MacDonalds or Burger King: BK Lounge for life.
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Whiskey please.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: No thanks.
Do you Smoke: No.
Do you Swear: Fucking what the fuck, who the fuck fucked this fucking, FUCK!
Do you Sing: I have too much testicular fortitude to sing.
Do you Shower Daily: Try to.
Have you Been in Love: Don't think so.
Do you want to go to College: Of course.
Do you want to get Married: Eventually
Do you belive in yourself: I'm my own hero.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Very much so.
Do you think you are Attractive: If I was a chick I'd go out with me, wait no I wouldn't, that'd be one ugly chick.
Are you a Health Freak: Not really
Do you get along with your Parents: Pretty much
Do you like Thunderstorms: I always like to imagine every thunderclap is a giant robotic dinosaur taking a step, then I get sad because I know it isn't true
Do you play an Instrument: I can pump out the fresh beats with a kazoo and rubberband.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: A little... Ok, yes ... Ok, a lot .... Ok, shut up
In the past month have you Smoked: Negative
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date: I don't go on "dates"
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Don't think so.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: I don't like oreos much, infact, the word cookie somewhat pisses me off.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No, unfortunately.
In the past month have you been on Stage: Nah
In the past month have you been Dumped: Nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No sir.
Ever been Drunk: Of course
Ever been called a Tease: I've been called a cocktease, does that count...
Ever been Beaten up: One time I fell out of a bunkbed, god the floor kicked my ass.
Ever Shoplifted: I stole gum once when I was little, I did it all ninja-like too.
How do you want to Die: Either by a samurai on PCP cutting me completely in half, or by spontaneous human combustion while driving a large vehicle at high speeds.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A space viking slaying undead lumberjack of course, what else?
What country would you most like to Visit: Israel
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue or Brown
Favourite Hair Color: Black
Short or Long Hair: Long
Height: Tall, but not taller than me.
Weight: If when you bend over your spine sticks out of your back like you're transforming into the result of a teleportation experiment gone horribly wrong, eat a fucking cheeseburger, if you bend over and your stomach is touching your knees, stop eating cheeseburgers.
Best Clothing Style: Boxers with open fly and a soup stained wifebeater is the way to go.
Number of Drugs I have taken: Eleventeen
Number of CDs I own: A metric fuckton, give or take three.
Number of Piercings: None.
Number of Tattoos: None.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Regret is pointless.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!.r{}
