Phil profile picture

Phil

Birds in little cages all believe in freedom

About Me

I'm Phil, and probably one of the best human beings you'll ever encounter. I used to weigh 875lbs. Now I'm constantly primping and preening, cause I'm mac like that. I like to talk about famine while eating my dinner. I like long walks and short tangents. I'm also a renowned connoisseur and professional gentleman of leisure.

My Interests

reading, slowly but steadily writing my book/screenplay, fishing, gaming, dancing , disecting plants, quantum mechanics, living things, rollerskating , film , rodeo, philosophies, whittling, euthanasia

I'd like to meet:

Intelligent, compassionate people who possess humility.BILL COSBY, James Earl Jones, Tom Shear, Crispin Glover, Patrick Stewart, Adolf Hitler, Macaulay Culkin, Jacko, Hootie, edgar allan poe, bill maher, JOHN LENNON, Noam Chomsky.

Music:


Diana Ross & the Supremes
Zapp And Roger
VNV Nation
Assemblage 23
Icon Of Coil
Bing Crosby
Bill Cosby
Psychedelic Furs
Kraftwerk
Dr. Octagon
Fischerspooner
Alphaville
The Temptations
Cesium 137
KMFDM
Spandau Ballet
Immortal Technique
Gigi D'Agostino
Cabaret Voltaire
Bauhaus
Aphex Twin
Lords of Acid
Richard Cheese
Led Zeppelin
The Smiths
Michael Jackson
Journey
:Wumpscut:
Covenant
Front 242
Neil Young
Pharcyde
Talking Heads
Pet Shop Boys
Marvin Gaye
Funker Vogt
Juno Reactor
Ministry
The Capricorns
DJ Irene
Tones on Tail
Electric Light Orchestra
The Crystal Method
Lights of Euphoria
Neophyte
Soman
Apoptygma Berzerk
Depeche Mode
The Doors
Skinny Puppy
Boston
Tears for Fears
Carole King
Dead or Alive
Devo
OMD
Armand Van Helden
David Bowie
New Order
Oingo Boingo
Bob Marley
Erasure
The English Beat
Joy Division
The Stylistics
Leonard Cohen
A Flock of Seagulls
Smoky Robinson
Marcy Playground
Beck
Yaz
Pixies
Violent Femmes
Voltaire
Pink Floyd
Beatles
Bob Dylan
Gregory Isaacs
Rotterdam Terror Corps
Nirvana
Misfits
Cat Stevens
The Streets
Combichrist
Human League
Velvet Acid Christ
Ladytron
Queen
The Cure
The Ventures
Spearhead
John Coltrane
Miles Davis
Boyz 2 Men ABC BBD the east coast family

Movies:

Idiocracy, Sling Blade, Amadeus, Party Monster, Groundhog Day, Kevin Smith movies, Blazing Saddles and other Mel Brooks films, Pumpkin, Il Postino, Jean De Florette, Manon des sources, Forrest Gump, Taxi Driver, Sunset Boulevard, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Full Metal Jacket, The Cable Guy, Big Fish, American Beauty, Gattaca, Kids, Radio Flyer, Gummo, Back To The Future, Sleepers, Ghoulies, Troll

Television:

Wonder Showzen, Dexter, Californiacation, Airwolf, The A-Team, American Gladiators, curb your enthusiasm, seinfeld, family guy, history channel and the sort, penn & teller, [adult swim], taxi cab confessions, Golden Girls, Three's Company, Perfect Strangers, fresh prince of bel air, the price is right

Books:

George R.R. Martin

Heroes:

DB COOPER
My Mother
Buddy Lyon
Christopher Lowell
Nikola Tesla

My Blog

'Along with his queer menagerie, the black man went fishing in his electric wheelchair.'

    This evening along PCH I came upon the aftermath of a game of carmageddon 'carpocalypse now.'    Rubber-necking along the caution tape with the other smiling onlooker...
Posted by Phil on Tue, 26 Sep 2006 11:17:00 PST

My name is Ted and one day I'll be dead YO YO

Interview with Ted Kaczynski Kaczynski's story represents a parable: "Once upon a time there was a continent covered with beautiful pristine wilderness, where giant trees towe...
Posted by Phil on Wed, 02 Nov 2005 10:30:00 PST

Dancing with deaf girls

101 ways to praise a child wow way to go super you're special outstanding excellent great good neat well done remarkable I knew you could do it I'm proud of you fantastic superstar nice work looking...
Posted by Phil on Thu, 20 Oct 2005 12:58:00 PST

my rutabagas

    Today at work this older white man with a southern accent picked up some boxes from us, to use to ship clothes to victims of the hurricane. Here's a bit of dialogue: Philip: It's ...
Posted by Phil on Sun, 11 Sep 2005 06:00:00 PST

geriatric colostomy pancake surprise (how i feel)

Telephone call? Telephone call? That's communication with the outside world. Doctor's *discretion*. Nuh-uh. Look, hey - all of these nuts could just make phone calls, they could spread insanity, oozin...
Posted by Phil on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

deerjerky

"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?" -Anon. A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the rel...
Posted by Phil on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Blithering Blatherskite

evil carnage office america hamlet beavis army guys lego ass ass ass ass dogs angelfire geocities heart lyrics magic man verizon wireless at&t cable ventilation liz phair korn do not push scary monkey...
Posted by Phil on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Laci Peterson is innocent

My Dear Lord - In your light I thrive In your strenght I am humbled In your mercy I am sheltered I live only to serve you My favorite prayer that I've made
Posted by Phil on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

east coast pimp sauce recipe

Ol' Big Nitty's under-the-sheets secret pimp sauce recipe: 3 parts ketchup 1 part vinegar 1 part brown sugar (a thick smathering of this and anything tastes better) Zefly's own holiday mixe...
Posted by Phil on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Cheesus Christ

On friday night I watched a AAA towtruck drive over a piece of metal jutting out of the ground in a parking lot and pop it's tire. The driver got out of the truck, walked around to the hissing tire an...
Posted by Phil on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST