Brandie

I continue the constant search for myself, and for my place in the world. I often feel restless, driven to discovering truth, wondering if there is meaning and where it lies, should it be different for each of us? Is it merely a human concept to atone for the lack of knowing, the inability to accept possibility? I have the heart and soul of a dreamer, and I believe thus stems my love for literature and my drive to write.
I know everything that lives has as much right to their life as I have my own. Even the smallest insect is set outside, for needlessly taking life is beyond my comprehension. It often surprises people to find that I’m not a vegetarian, and I reply that everything in nature kills to eat, and vegetables too are alive.
Fighting for what I believe in is as breathing. In the same sense I could as easily quit one as the other. I see such injustice in the world, day by day the disheartenment grows. Doing nothing can only amount to nothing, doing something, no matter how small or what the odds, has a chance of making some difference… Has everyone forgotten? Or merely forsaken?
I find it ironic, that I’d looked into so many ways of life, Buddhism and Wicca, only to name a few… That it found me without my even knowing what it was… Turns out I’m a shaman, it explains a lot, really. I still feel so new to it, like a child driven to take its’ first steps without understanding the instinct to do so. I’ve felt the truest beauty in the world, and such suffering as well… the balance held for ages has been broken. What that means (exactly) is beyond me, though it fills me with the deepest sadness, as if fate itself has been broken. We no longer hold respect for the earth, and I wonder if we have not doomed all of life with our ways. Someone asked me once, shouldn’t I be religious if I am a shaman, where do I think I travel to? It took me aback for a moment, then I smiled. All the world, every stick, every drop of rain… The leaves that fall and the trees that die, the seeds that sprout in the spring and sunlight that urges them foreword… The wind that whispers to the moon and the tides that carry our memories in their sleep... All that is and all that ever will be, is of one.
Deep down I know I remain a sap for romance, though having been hurt I’ve found it harder to open up to people, desiring my space. Not to say I do not believe in true love, I have known love and the feeling is implacable to any other. Pure, unconditional, though sadly even that is not enough, sometimes. Life and time take their toll, though I believe one day the stars will be right, for me. It is not in me to be with someone I do not care for. I’ve always been drawn to the individual, unhindered in mind, with a fire inside as I have, a will and a drive for what they believe in, though not with beliefs to mirror my own. I want someone who sees things differently, who I can talk to, who gets me.
Hot coffee in the middle of the night, drinking tea while the dawn breaks… Jogging along the creek, shooting pool in a loud bar… These are among my favorite pleasures in the world.
I wonder where I’m going, what it all amounts to… I wonder if existence itself is purpose. I have always felt that if even one life can be made better for my having existed, my existence will be rectified. I often feel I’m drifting, or simply a bystander to my own life, with everything past me, as if my actions are nothing more than a moment. Perhaps they are, perhaps they are not, and perhaps it does not matter. Should we be predestined, unfated, or merely here and gone as a breeze, life is no less beautiful, holds no more and no less meaning than we define in our hearts, and does not dictate the importance of our lives to ourselves. All that matters is that we live truly, and find our own peace at the end.
ENFPs are energetic and enthusiastic leaders who are likely to take charge when a new endeavor needs a visionary spokesperson. ENFPs are values-oriented people who become champions of causes and services relating to human needs and dreams. Their leadership style is one of soliciting and recognizing others' contributions and of evaluating the personal needs of their followers. ENFPs are often charismatic leaders who are able to help people see the possibilities beyond themselves and their current realities. They function as catalysts."
ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.
To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values..
Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.
ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing. Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.
In a team environment, the ENFP can contribute by:
* acting as a catalyst for change, and encouraging the team to change together
* focusing on areas of agreement and building on others' proposals
* where there are areas of disagreement, exploring a wide range of options to see if a point of agreement can be found.
* contributing creative ideas, particularly those involving people
* including others in the process of developing ideas and vision, and being very
accepting of contributions, even of varying quality
* generating team spirit though the ENFP's own energy and enthusiasm
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