Jim Varney is LEGEND!
I'm gonna tell it like it is.
A lot of people think I am a douche bag. But that is merely a case of me being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am a genuine person and I do what I can to be a nice guy. Sure I may screw up every once in a while. Sorry, I will try to stop being human for everyone who doesn't believe in forgiveness.
One of the most unattractive things to me is a girl holding a beer bottle. Just as unattractive as a girl blowing smoke out of her face. No amount of beauty can wipe the sludge from an image like that.
I am very strong on respect. I don't want to be friends with people who don't respect themselves because I respect my friends...
What is disrespect for ones self? Well let me list it all according to what I believe.
Smoking. I don't understand how you can think it's attractive or respectful to ones self to meaninglessly inhale chemicals that have been proven to be harmful.
Drinking. What's fun about having fun that you won't remember the next day during your hangover?
Obesity. Yes, obesity. I find it shameful and disgusting when someone can allow themselves to become obese. Show some self respect and keep up your image. Sure it may be hard to do in some cases, but are you really so lazy that you stop caring about your health?
If you take offense to any of those three, then you probably fall into one of the categories...I suggest you fix the problem as soon as humanly possible, and if you need help I will be glad to be there for you.
YES, okay? YES I am shallow. I always will be. But don't think that I am saying I won't be your friend if I don't find you attractive. That is not the case at all. After all, I don't go around thinking I am a bright star in a black winter's night myself. But I do respect myself. And that is always enough.
Say hello and maybe it will lead to the conversation of a lifetime.
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