I'm slow and dim; I'm incapable of carrying on even the most meager of conversations in a pleasant tone of voice; I loathe stringing together coherent sentences to the point that interactions on an intimately personal level are a near impossibility; I don't adjust to time-zones well nor do I eat food products colored unnaturally red; I vehemently protest the practice of applying anything that lathers directly onto the skin; I see so far into the future that the screams of others obscure any information that may be useful; I refuse to shake hands with anyone who brushes their teeth prior to having breakfast; I eat poorly; I crate problems (yes, crate); I believe that horse racing is a more valuable exercise for the mind than listening to your priest; I am reminded daily that I create nothing but the refuse I carry outside to dispose; I can see why fish are attracted to shiny objects; I respectfully disagree with those who tie their laces using the bunny-in-the-hole method; I avoid long walks and shun sunny beaches; I absolutely will send back the soup if it's tepid. I don't respect those who have closed their eyes to the world. I fold a commendable paper airplane.
