♥jgurl♥ - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am afraid of forgetting the memories, and all he has taught me. I am afraid of never really seeing them again someday in heaven. I am afraid that people really don't understand me, and judge me based upon that reason. I am afraid that I will die alone. I am even afraid of death herself. I am afraid of waking up. I am afraid of falling asleep. I am afraid that one day after my own passing, I will be forgotten. I am afraid that I hurt others with the words I speak. I am even afraid that if something happens to my brother, my mom will not survive it...I want inner peace. I want him to know how much I do love him. I want him to also know I would never hurt him. I want my closest friend Mary to know, how much of an intricate piece she is in my life. I want all that I cannot have. I want to fall asleep without crying. I want life to be, as it was before all the death. I want my family to stop hurting and begin living again. I want to know that I have changed the course of someone's life, that I have made a difference. And I want to see my Zdia-Zdia more than anything. He is, was, and will always be my life. I understand that sometimes, things will fall apart in order for other things to fall into place. I understand that to exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly. I understand that without death, there cannot be life. I understand that the joy of life consists in the exercise of ones energies, continual growth, constant change, the enjoyment of every new experience and to stop means simply to die. My hope for you is that you will remember to trust only movement and that life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.. a.redlink:hover {font-family: ; font-size: px; color: ; font-weight: ; font-style: ; text-decoration:

My Interests

~~DECK DEMONS~~DJ Illogix ROC RAIDA Baltimore Gong Battle VICTORY!!!Chauncey BillupsThe starting 5

I'd like to meet:

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Music:

WOW....Where do I begin??? I LOVE underground music, especially the skratch/turntablism genre...Here is a look at some of my ALL TIME FAVORITES...Q-bert, Grandmaster Flash, Grand Wizard Theodore, Atrak, Blackalicious, Moose, Kool Herc, RUN DMC & Jam Master Jay, Rob Swift, KRS ONE, Beat Junkies, C2C, Def Jux, The Roots, SugarHill Gang, DJ Shadow, Wicked, Get Fresh Crew, Afrika Bambatta & Soul Sonic Force, Mix Master Mike, Craze, CutChemist, Mr. Dibbs, Darth Fader, Beatnuts, Peanut Butter Wolf, DJ Vajra, Kid Koala, RJD2, the Executioners, DJ Disk, Scratch Perverts, Sham One, Tragic, APB, Deck Demons, Channelkatz, Asiphonics, Dialated Peoples, Rhettmatic, Babu, Glass City Boyz, DJ Relm, UNKUT, DJ Flare, Cash Money, Shortkut, Roc Raida, Digable Planets, DJ Akakabe, Ricci Rucker, The Allies, Gunkhole, Fifth Platoon, MF DoomDJ IllogixBoston Bandit / SLIPWAX

Movies:

RUDY, BEER FEST, Rocky Balboa, Remember the Titans, Million Dollar Baby, Uncle Buck, Rocky II, Hoosiers, GI Jane....just to name a few

Television:

Im not a huge tv fan, but do like watching Intervention, Pistons Basketball, UofM college football, Boston Legal, and CSI: Miami and NOW Grey's Anatomy....damn it, I got sucked in it!my all time favorite show is.....~~~~~Shaun's Birthday

Books:

The Ryan White Story....a must read.

Heroes:

My Zdia-ZdiaMy brother Shaun .

My Blog

Blank lies

If you asked her, she would tell youthat the sadness doesn't feel as deep,and I guess she would pretend as wellthat she still enjoyed her sleep.If you questioned whether she had healedshe'd try a...
Posted by ♥jgurl♥ on Sat, 07 Apr 2007 07:27:00 PST

Solitude

she sits there.she drops her head. her hands cup her sad face.she cries.she cries of not knowing what tomorrow will bring.she runs into the room. she shivers.not because she cold, but becaus...
Posted by ♥jgurl♥ on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 11:55:00 PST

How do you stop....

How do you stop reliving a moment,that happened so many years ago.Scars you've hid for so long,now they're starting to show.How do you stop the anger inside,hide bruises that won't go awayIf you know ...
Posted by ♥jgurl♥ on Wed, 28 Mar 2007 03:16:00 PST

It finally happened to Mama

Hi Zdia-Zdia......Well it finally happened....mom had a BAD night........i decided to take to her for out St. Patricks day and she was having a GREAT time.....until.....the bagpipe players showed up.....
Posted by ♥jgurl♥ on Sun, 18 Mar 2007 08:38:00 PST

What Happens

What happens... when your grief is huge; when your clenched fists ache, the tears you cried have formed a de...
Posted by ♥jgurl♥ on Sat, 03 Mar 2007 05:04:00 PST

January...

January...now come's to me with sad regret. It will forever bring back a day I will not soon forget. You fell asleep, and I wasn't there to say goodbye. I will never again hear your voice again, and k...
Posted by ♥jgurl♥ on Sat, 03 Mar 2007 04:54:00 PST

Dear Zdia-Zdia

Hi Zdia-Zdia. Well, here it is a year since your passing. I know that you are at peace and that you and Grandma are together, along with Uncle Tom, Uncle Jim, and dad. I miss you tho...
Posted by ♥jgurl♥ on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 11:27:00 PST

New Year Blessings To YOU...

May you be blessed with all things good. May your joys, like the stars at night, be too numerous to count. May your victories be more abundant than all the grains of sand on all the beache...
Posted by ♥jgurl♥ on Fri, 29 Dec 2006 07:20:00 PST

My BLESSING...My MIRACLE

Here I sit, we just buried my last uncle earlier today. My mom is having a difficult time with his passing - this was HER last remaining family member. I pray for strength for her to find once again s...
Posted by ♥jgurl♥ on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 08:01:00 PST

Dear GOD.......

Dear GOD~ Why? Why now? Why again? YOU absolutely KNEW this month and January would be one of the most difficult times in our lives, and YOU did THIS to us?!? How could...
Posted by ♥jgurl♥ on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 07:07:00 PST