The finest, most dedicated vending machine repairman that the Space Corps no the universe, has ever known. If you're in trouble, he will save the day
He's brave and he's fearless, come what may
Without him, the mission would go astray
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold RimmerWithout him, life would be much grimmer
He's handsome, trim, and no one's slimmer
He will never need a Zimmer
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold RimmerMore reliable than a garden Strimmer
He's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner
He's not bald and his head doesn't glimmerMaster of the wit and the repartee
His command of space directives is uncanny
How come he's such a genius? Don't ask me
Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold RimmerHe's also a fantastic swimmer
And if you play your cards right, then he just might come round for dinnerHe's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer
No rhymes left now apart from quimmer
We hope they fade us out before we get to schwimmer
Fade out you stupid plimmer
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