profile picture

43048718

I am here for Friends

About Me

Im a cynical optimist, a caustic bleeding heart, a barely breathing leftward leaning dichotomy. Im really pretty pathetic. Please help me.

I'm now completely 100% officially retired. I can't live on my Social Security so I have to keep a few irons in the fire, mostly embezzlement, stock fraud, and whenever possible, exploiting widows and orphans. I also have a few legitimate endeavours like a couple of websites, some writing, and an occasional gig with the Chippendale Dancers.

Check out my website. It's useful even if you don't live in Pittsburg, it's harmless, and it goes down smoothly with coffee and peanut brittle.

Why am I doing this MySpace thing? I want to become the oldest living MySpace whore with all of the fame and riches that come with that prestigious title.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Someone with low expectations cause I'm not much of a catch.


I had to put this sign in front of my house
to keep from becoming road kill.

I've tried clever ploys and awesome graphics to try to get people to subscribe to my blog, but nothing has worked. I'm now reduced to the only tactic I have yet to try....begging.

I heard MySpace is a good place to pick up chicks.

..MY PICTURES

My Blog

Paul Harvey

Was there ever a voice as well-known and familiar as that of Paul Harvey? If so, not many. Make a quick run through the radio tuner around mid-day anywhere in the United States and you would invariabl...
Posted by on Sun, 01 Mar 2009 10:49:00 GMT

Unbalanced News 01-12-09

Joe the Plumber, whose real name is Samuel, not Joe, has been hired as a war correspondant to cover the Israel/Gaza conflict. The website that hired him assummed that Joe, ..err Samuel, could also d...
Posted by on Mon, 12 Jan 2009 07:59:00 GMT

Unbalanced News 11-06-08

18,000 gay marriages in California have been thrown into permanent limbo as the courts have determined that divorce can only occur between a woman and a man.Authorities said Galen Winchell suffered ex...
Posted by on Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:04:00 GMT

Top ten ways you know the End of Days is near

The top ten ways to tell that the End of Days is near:No. 10   We look back wistfully at the Bush era and refer to it as the good old days.No. 9   Sarah Palin stares out from her ...
Posted by on Mon, 13 Oct 2008 07:58:00 GMT

Unbalanced News 08-14-08

After another extended absence and innumberable threats to my life for my slothful ways, I've reluctantly re-entered the blogdom with another edition of the Unbalanced News. Former presidential c...
Posted by on Thu, 14 Aug 2008 07:35:00 GMT

Quotations from George Carlin

George Carlin 1937-2008I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the ro...
Posted by on Mon, 23 Jun 2008 06:34:00 GMT

Mz Kellis Blog

This blog is not by me. My daughter, Mz Kelli, wrote it about her late husband, Jimmy, but for some reason, her MySpace is screwed up (so what else is new)  and won’t post it on her account...
Posted by on Sun, 06 Apr 2008 09:43:00 GMT

Unbalanced News 04-04-08

It’s been a while since we’ve published, kids, so here’s the scoop for all of you newbies. This is the real news...not that watered down crap you get on CNN or Faux News. Our team of...
Posted by on Fri, 04 Apr 2008 04:20:00 GMT

Jimmy

It is with much sadness that I inform you that Kelli's husband, Jimmy, died this morning. We very much appreciate the prayers and good thoughts that you all have given.
Posted by on Wed, 05 Mar 2008 10:41:00 GMT

Things to do when youre snowed-in to keep from being bored

Recently, my friend Gina, who lives in Reno, Nevada, was snowed and iced in for several days. Having had the same experience myself last year about this time, we decided to help each other out with id...
Posted by on Mon, 14 Jan 2008 16:15:00 GMT