Ive been through some crazy fucked up shit through-out my life. But i also done some crazy fucked up shit.1. My mom dies by the time i reached 18 months old.
2. Had a hernia operation when i was 2 weeks old.
3. Lost my 2 front teeth trying to catch a football in pre-school.
4. Got caught stealing a name plate (jimmy) for my bike when i was like 5, and they made me take it back.
5. Started stealing when i was 6 from grocery stores in the aile i like to call grab what you can, no one can see you rack right next to the cash register.
And then when my mom asked where did u get that, she always fell for i found it in the bottom of my toy box.
6. Got in my first fight and we had to call the quits cause i had to eat dinner.
7. Drew blue crayon drawings all over my wall one night in the dark thinking no one would notice. Had to scrub the wall for 2 days.
8. Forged my mothers Initials in 3rd grade by placing her real one over the new failed test and going over the real initails over and over so it leaves her initals imprinted on the failed one. Genius!
9. Also in 3rd grade i forged my moms real signature by signing like 4 tests in the dark. Got caught easily. Dumb ass!
10. Slid down 40-50 steps in a snow-tube every snow storm. Not the safest thing.
11. Got stabbed by a pipe right between my pinky and ring finger running around playing freeze tag or some shit.
12. Got hit and ran over by a bike as i was turning into a driveway guarded by bushes and the biker was turning onto the sidewalk. Didnt even see it coming.
13. My best friend got hit by a car and hospitalized for 5 months because we were trying to beat out a car doing about 60.
14. Got caught drinking when i was like 12 and had to stare at the 6 pack of honey brown cans in the center of my dining room table for a week. They didnt decide that choice of beer. They found it under Jays bed in my room.
15. Fell off Toocony Creek bridge head first in about a foot of water.
16. Got dropped head first doing a keg stand.
17. Drank a shot of dirty water sitting around for a week in bucas apartment that was filled with beer and all kinds of goodies.
18. Ive had 24 darts thrown at my chest. Lovely.
19. Ive had paintballs shot at me point blank. Lovely.
20. Ive been stun gunned so may times i cant even cant. Lovely.
22. Ive beened jailed for lighting up fireworks.
23. Ive been bit by a human that still scars me for life.
24. Ive suffered numerous first punches. None have yet to knock me down. I stand proud.
25. Ive jumped out of a moving car and suffered head trauma which resulted in an over-night hospital stay and 6 staples to the head. Cost me $1000's.
26. I had my ankle broke, fractured, and repaired with screws, plates, and staples.
27. I almost died most recently on February 27, 2006 when i was gassed up with amnesia and they couldnt wake me up. They had to reverse drug me which worked and im thankful for it.
28. I have to learn how to walk again at age 22. Pathetic.
29. I drove right into some car on a head on collision cuz some stupid bitch went threw a red night. Neck aches were ruff for a few weeks.
30. Bought a new car 2 days later and got pulled over 3 times for a jersey inspection sticker. Who knew you had to change state inspections. Stupid! An inspection is an inspection.
31. I was so drunk one night i tried to bite off the top of a wine bottle with my teeth. Chipped it of course babaaaay.
32. To be Continued.....
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