" Yes friends, act now, destroy Unicron. Kill the Grand Poobah. Eliminate even the toughest stain. " --Wreck-Gar (1987)
True respect is never achieved. It is only after we have died and been eaten by carrion that we are measured by our actions. For example, Thomas Jefferson was never respected until he fell into the Grand Canyon in 1826 and was eaten by vultures. Marlon Brando recently earned the respect of millions when he passed away and was eaten by lions. Mother Theresa was hated by half of the world until she died in a knife fight and was eaten by the Hamburglar.
Here are a few amazing stories I found at the greatest website of all time: http://www.realultimatepower.net/ The Pirate DanceSCENE 1:The scene opens up with some soft annoying music to get the audience super pissed. The camera will show a bunch of pirates eating chicken buttholes. Fortunately, a ninja sees everything and realizes what a bunch of bull crap it is. So this one ninja walks up to them and is like, Yo whats your problem? The camera zooms directly on a pirates mouth, which states Get out of here now. and buttholes fall all over the silverware. Then the camera cuts to the ninjas mouth with says No, but nothing gross happens. The audience then sees ninja pull out a huge guitar which is really medium sized and wails. But the pirates dont explode, they start to dance.........hard, harder than the hardest blackest boner alive. And when they dance, the pirates look like a bunch of crabby and stupid moms. Everybody in the entire world craps their pants laughing at the pure stupidity of the pirates. But the ninja has A.D.D. and starts losing energy/power and the pirates start stopping dancing. (There will be some suspense filled violins and guitars playing so that the audience gets scared and/or pumped-scared.) In several motions, the pirates come toward the ninja. BUT, out of nowhere this bad ass lake appears and a huge hippo busts out of it hard. Water sprays everywhere, including the pirates shirts (which causes their boobs to barely appear through their shirts). Most pirates are like This cant be happening! The hippo says Guess what, it is. and slaps five with ninja pretty hard. And the ninja says lets rock brother. They both pull out expensive guitars and start wailing on them really really hard. Since the ninja cant concentrate, the hippo thoughtfully guides his hand, because they are blood brothers till the end of time and space. Then the pirates all morph into this tiny diaper and the hippo and ninja morph into a super poop-filled baby that takes the biggest friggn dump in the pirate/diaper. The pirates scream turns into a crap-gargle (this will make audience laugh gregariously). The ninja's A.D.D. heals and the two buddies/brothers smoke cigarettes and get ice-cream and pop, which they enjoy a lot.The EndNinja, PleaseScene 1:Ninjas walk down street to go eat some food. Ninjas are all wearing black and looking totally sweet. There is some awesome music playing in the background to get the audience really pumped. Then some dude jumps out of nowhere. The ninjas start beating this guy's ass bad. Then the dude starts trying to run away, but one ninja pulls out a ninja star (ninja weapon) and throws it at the dude. The ninja star cuts the guy's head totally off. The head rolls over near this old dog that looks at the head and barfs all over the place, including the camera, which is awesome. The ninjas start flying and everybody starts screaming. Then the scene ends.Scene 2:A ninja is sleeping at his house. Some idiot walks by singing a super annoying song. Then the ninja wakes up super pissed and ready to rock. The guy just keeps walking and singing, while the ninja starts cutting down a building. When the guy walks by the building, it falls on him. (When the building is falling, a guitar will be wailing hard in the background.) There will be a close up of the dude's feet sticking out from under the building. The feet explode all over the place, because of blood pressure. Then we see that the ninja was playing the guitar. Then all these babes start coming out of nowhere and the ninja starts wailing ever harder (if that's even possible). Then the camera starts fading out and then explodes.ENDThe Ultimate BattleScene 1:Dark smoke fills the scene and pump up music slowly gets louder. The audience sees a ninja and his girlfriend eating at a super expensive restaurant. The girlfriend is so hot that steam is coming out of her mouth or hair. Some old idiot is sitting by the couple. The idiot is giving the girlfriend "the eye" and popping like 16 boners. But the ninja sees the boners and the music really pumps up. The audience knows this guy is dead meat for sure. But out of nowhere, the old idiot pulls off his jacket to show that he is a pirate with lasers and everything. The ninja is like yeah right who cares and then pops the biggest boner ever, bigger than the biggest blackest boner alive. The ninja's boner smashes the entire restaurant. Every single one of the pirate's boners explodes while making a whistling sound. The ninja looks back at his girlfriend. She smiles and they pork.ENDNinja BABEScene 1:There is this super rich stupid idiot who lives in a humongous house. At his house, this guy has babes lying all over the place. The next scene is hot. The guy takes this super hot babe back to his room to make-out. The audience will think that the hot babe is a normal babe, but, yeah right, she's a ninja. The ninja woman smashes the guy's head like a melon. Then all these dogs come out of nowhere and the ninja woman has to beat the dogs' asses. First she kicks this one dog right in the nuts. The dog screams and jumps out the window. Then she jumps in the air and kicks two dogs in the nuts at once! Both dogs evaporate. Every time the ninja woman kicks nuts, a guitar squeals hard. Then the ninja woman has to battle the boss dog. The boss dog is huge. Before the boss dog can attack, she uppercuts the boss dog's nuts so hard that the boss explodes. Then the guitar squeals REALLY hard and explodes.End
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