My name is Lorna. If you call me Lorna, I will make sure you never walk again. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING funnier than a farting ketchup bottle, especcially during awkward silences. I love live music, but my ipod comes in as a close second. I have absolutely no problem with the fact that I failed algebra 1 twice, because I'm still smarter than you. I think Plato is full of shit, and I don't buy into "thought fads". I prefer text messages to actually calling someone, and I prefer brightly colored sharpies to pens or pencils. What can I say, I like the way you're put together.
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR BUNG - The Survey
Name: Lorna
Birthday: 5 trillion BC
Birthplace: in the thigh of zeus
Current Location: are you watching me?
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: it changes daily
Height: 90 kilometers
Right Handed or Left Handed: I HAVE NO ARMS
Your Heritage: chicken
The Shoes You Wore Today: today was special, i wore all of my shoes at once
Your Weakness: michael jackson
Your Fears: bubbles, foam, cancer
Your Perfect Pizza: the air pizza: pizza without cheese, sauce, or bread
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: swallow a chair whole
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: slap
Thoughts First Waking Up: i need to hit the snooze button...oh wait i dont have arms
Your Best Physical Feature: endoplasmic reticulum...obviously
Your Bedtime: 8 31 pm sharp
Your Most Missed Memory: when the olympics were played in the nude
Pepsi or Coke: i fear bubbles
MacDonalds or Burger King: thanks i want to keep my arteries
Single or Group Dates: i only date myself. alone.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: water. get that poison away from me.
Chocolate or Vanilla: i eat 5 pounds of chocolate daily
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuchinos shouldnt be considered drinks as they are 10000% foam
Do you Smoke: through one of the 5 holes in my throat
Do you Swear: through one of the other 5 holes in my throat
Do you Sing: i do not possess a lanrynx.
Do you Shower Daily: i spit in a jar until there is enough liquid to bathe in
Have you Been in Love: sike.
Do you want to go to College: if by college you mean amsterdam
Do you want to get Married: if by married you mean wasted
Do you belive in yourself: i believe in bigfoot
Do you get Motion Sickness: i vomit through one of the holes in my throat
Do you think you are Attractive: 90 kilometers tall and 25 pounds, hell yes i wear chinese finger traps as necklaces bitch
Are you a Health Freak: yes how else do you think i lived for 5 trillion years
Do you get along with your Parents: yes. and by get along i mean battle. and by my parents i mean grizzly bears.
Do you like Thunderstorms: only when i am perched on top of a lightning rod
Do you play an Instrument: my throat has 10 holes, i AM an instrument
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: over 5 trillion years, my tolerence has gone up so much i have to drink a gallon of listerine to get tipsy
In the past month have you Smoked: often enough that i no longer know what air feels like
In the past month have you been on Drugs: i hear drugs are good for you
In the past month have you gone on a Date: more like GONErhhea
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: i eat malls for breakfast
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: just the box, i dont eat the oreos
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: i lick the ocean. it has the same effect.
In the past month have you been on Stage: not since i was fired from the strip joint
In the past month have you been Dumped: ....on
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: i cant swim, i have no arms
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: oh, you know. vital organs, etc.
Ever been Drunk: the word ever takes on a whole new meaning when you are older than the solar system
Ever been called a Tease: uh no
Ever been Beaten up: yeah right i shit bullets
Ever Shoplifted: in the sense that i lifted a shop and roundhouse kicked it into the sun
How do you want to Die: i enjoy living
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: the milfiest milf that ever existed
What country would you most like to Visit: israel, so i can poo in the dead sea and watch it float
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: cyclops. burgundy.
Favourite Hair Color: hairless
Short or Long Hair: bald on the head but with back hair that goes to the floor
Height: anywhere between 5 and 6....inches
Weight: nothing under 150....tons
Best Clothing Style: every outfit that bjork has ever worn combined
Number of Drugs I have taken: only the healthy ones
Number of CDs I own: infinity billion
Number of Piercings: 90
Number of Tattoos: solve for x.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: jokingly suggesting to george bush that he run for president...that was a bad move
BE CONSTIPATED FOR LIFE! - or - GET 90 FORMS OF CANCER! /form