kate profile picture

kate

About Me

My name is Lorna. If you call me Lorna, I will make sure you never walk again. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING funnier than a farting ketchup bottle, especcially during awkward silences. I love live music, but my ipod comes in as a close second. I have absolutely no problem with the fact that I failed algebra 1 twice, because I'm still smarter than you. I think Plato is full of shit, and I don't buy into "thought fads". I prefer text messages to actually calling someone, and I prefer brightly colored sharpies to pens or pencils. What can I say, I like the way you're put together.
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR BUNG - The Survey
Name: Lorna
Birthday: 5 trillion BC
Birthplace: in the thigh of zeus
Current Location: are you watching me?
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: it changes daily
Height: 90 kilometers
Right Handed or Left Handed: I HAVE NO ARMS
Your Heritage: chicken
The Shoes You Wore Today: today was special, i wore all of my shoes at once
Your Weakness: michael jackson
Your Fears: bubbles, foam, cancer
Your Perfect Pizza: the air pizza: pizza without cheese, sauce, or bread
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: swallow a chair whole
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: slap
Thoughts First Waking Up: i need to hit the snooze button...oh wait i dont have arms
Your Best Physical Feature: endoplasmic reticulum...obviously
Your Bedtime: 8 31 pm sharp
Your Most Missed Memory: when the olympics were played in the nude
Pepsi or Coke: i fear bubbles
MacDonalds or Burger King: thanks i want to keep my arteries
Single or Group Dates: i only date myself. alone.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: water. get that poison away from me.
Chocolate or Vanilla: i eat 5 pounds of chocolate daily
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuchinos shouldnt be considered drinks as they are 10000% foam
Do you Smoke: through one of the 5 holes in my throat
Do you Swear: through one of the other 5 holes in my throat
Do you Sing: i do not possess a lanrynx.
Do you Shower Daily: i spit in a jar until there is enough liquid to bathe in
Have you Been in Love: sike.
Do you want to go to College: if by college you mean amsterdam
Do you want to get Married: if by married you mean wasted
Do you belive in yourself: i believe in bigfoot
Do you get Motion Sickness: i vomit through one of the holes in my throat
Do you think you are Attractive: 90 kilometers tall and 25 pounds, hell yes i wear chinese finger traps as necklaces bitch
Are you a Health Freak: yes how else do you think i lived for 5 trillion years
Do you get along with your Parents: yes. and by get along i mean battle. and by my parents i mean grizzly bears.
Do you like Thunderstorms: only when i am perched on top of a lightning rod
Do you play an Instrument: my throat has 10 holes, i AM an instrument
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: over 5 trillion years, my tolerence has gone up so much i have to drink a gallon of listerine to get tipsy
In the past month have you Smoked: often enough that i no longer know what air feels like
In the past month have you been on Drugs: i hear drugs are good for you
In the past month have you gone on a Date: more like GONErhhea

In the past month have you gone to a Mall: i eat malls for breakfast
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: just the box, i dont eat the oreos
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: i lick the ocean. it has the same effect.
In the past month have you been on Stage: not since i was fired from the strip joint
In the past month have you been Dumped: ....on
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: i cant swim, i have no arms
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: oh, you know. vital organs, etc.
Ever been Drunk: the word ever takes on a whole new meaning when you are older than the solar system
Ever been called a Tease: uh no
Ever been Beaten up: yeah right i shit bullets
Ever Shoplifted: in the sense that i lifted a shop and roundhouse kicked it into the sun
How do you want to Die: i enjoy living
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: the milfiest milf that ever existed
What country would you most like to Visit: israel, so i can poo in the dead sea and watch it float
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: cyclops. burgundy.
Favourite Hair Color: hairless
Short or Long Hair: bald on the head but with back hair that goes to the floor
Height: anywhere between 5 and 6....inches
Weight: nothing under 150....tons
Best Clothing Style: every outfit that bjork has ever worn combined
Number of Drugs I have taken: only the healthy ones
Number of CDs I own: infinity billion
Number of Piercings: 90
Number of Tattoos: solve for x.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: jokingly suggesting to george bush that he run for president...that was a bad move
BE CONSTIPATED FOR LIFE! - or - GET 90 FORMS OF CANCER! /form

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

the inventor of humans. darth vadar. and so on.
Get your own countdown at BlingyBlob.com

My Blog

from the heaven ive had to the hell ive been through

im always coming back home to you. this is what i would do right now if i could drive: wash my carwear big sunglasses, roll the windows down, drive 20 miles over the speed limit in the carpool la...
Posted by on Fri, 19 May 2006 18:18:00 GMT

t-t-t-top EIGHT

Rock 'N Roll aka ROCKY: Rocky..is my horse.  But he is also so much more.  Rocky is pretty much the only constant in my life.  He is a silly, silly animal.  I love him 99% of the t...
Posted by on Thu, 04 May 2006 21:56:00 GMT

hes like a gerbil. a giant gerbil. that could kill me.

that horse.  i swear to god. spooked at a jump we've gone over like 239783246312 times, in such a way that while trying to escape the jump, he tripped over another one, went down on his knees and...
Posted by on Mon, 24 Apr 2006 17:32:00 GMT

best weekend everrrr

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. i win.  times infinity.  i win to the max.  now i can feel good about myself for another few days.aaah glory. ha.  again.
Posted by on Mon, 17 Apr 2006 22:35:00 GMT

jesus h christ

i didnt really want to put this in my profile.  but here it is.  the sad truth. Your Brain is 20.00% Female, 80.00% Male You've got the brain of a manly man Feelings, schmeelings... tears ar...
Posted by on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 01:11:00 GMT

re to the tard - update

i dislike santa cruz.  i can say with 100% certainty i will never be inclined to go to school there.  its way too hard to meet people, and everyone is just in love with themselves and its gr...
Posted by on Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:54:00 GMT

worst day of my life

tomorrow will be the last lesson that i teach ever.  i have to talk to that guy, he is ruining everyone.  not just me.  i have singlehandedly ruined like 6 people.i hate myself.  o...
Posted by on Thu, 06 Apr 2006 22:08:00 GMT

oily marks appear on walls

spin me round again....and rub my eyes this can't be happening i went tanning today.  FINALLY.  prepping for the union.  i need to press the stop button on my food intake as well. ...
Posted by on Tue, 04 Apr 2006 23:29:00 GMT

the final countdown

so it comes down to this:uc santa cruzuc davispitzeri have no. frigging.  clue.  i was thinking pitzer.  but now i dont know.  what if its too hard?  slash too small?  an...
Posted by on Thu, 30 Mar 2006 14:09:00 GMT

o is for the only one i see

and v is for vendetta.camp was amazing.  exhausting.  i am extra depressed to be back here.  in this place.  that i don't really like.  vs the place where i literally love eve...
Posted by on Sun, 26 Mar 2006 23:29:00 GMT