Modern Monkey profile picture

Modern Monkey

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck !!!

About Me


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I am in my late thirties. I don't follow a religion. My upbringing was unconventional to say the least. I don't feel comfortable putting myself into any of the pre-made ad demographics. It's true that culture has been fragmented into a lot more choices, but I'm still looking for mine. Also, they're more are less shades of the same thing.There are very few absolute truths for me. I take the scientific method to heart. It should be obvious though, that it doesn't leave me a lot in the way of moral decisions. Therefore, I have very little moral obligation to hinder me. I basically believe in treating people with respect, for no other reason than that's the way everyone likes to be treated. I believe in the continuation and propagation of our species. I tend to shrink away from things that don't promote this.I have three daughters, and I have been married for 17 years. Sadly, I have began to see patterns that resemble many a cliche that was told to me by older people when I was younger. I guess that's just the way it is. There could be worse things than falling into this group that includes a large percentage of the American population. Chief among these patterns of change is the loss of idealism. It is quite pronounced, and I miss it more than I'd thought when I saw how stupid it was in my late 20's.Every day, I live my life just like everyone else. I strive not to be a conformist. I feel the yoke of the worker drone, but I also feel the need to eat. This profile was created using: ProfileTweaks Editor Ver.2
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Peter Barry Long
Birthday: too many
Birthplace: Houston, TX
Current Location: Monroe, LA
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: brown
Height: 5 foot 9
Right Handed or Left Handed: It depends on how heavy the magazine is.
Your Heritage: Poor White Trash (irish/indian)
The Shoes You Wore Today: squeaked a lot.
Your Weakness: are sex, drugs, and rock n roll.
Your Fears: are best beat down with alcohol.
Your Perfect Pizza: is a sweep, hold the anchoves.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: is to be able to speak French. Je ne parle pas francaise.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: LOL
Thoughts First Waking Up: I want to go back to sleep.
Your Best Physical Feature: is the underside of my big toe.
Your Bedtime: is after 13 beers, 3 shots of jager, and legally obtained pharmaceuticals.
Your Most Missed Memory: I can't remember that's why it's missed. Duh?
Pepsi or Coke: Coke. I'll take blow over a soft drink any day!
MacDonalds or Burger King: Subway, I'm stalking Jared.
Single or Group Dates: Group, the more the merrier.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: water
Chocolate or Vanilla: Cherry Garcia
Cappuccino or Coffee: don't drink it
Do you Smoke: sometimes
Do you Swear: frequently
Do you Sing: often and not well at all
Do you Shower Daily: Of course, I shit my pants, so not showering would be stupid.
Have you Been in Love: Yeah, it's over rated.
Do you want to go to College: Went for quite a while, now I want to go back!
Do you want to get Married: not again
Do you belive in yourself: probably a lot more than I should
Do you get Motion Sickness: sometimes from just riding in the back seat
Do you think you are Attractive: yes
Are you a Health Freak: far from a freak, Health Participant maybe?
Do you get along with your Parents: as long as we're both drinking
Do you like Thunderstorms: love them, minus the tornados
Do you play an Instrument: No, but I play WITH an instrument.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: uh yeah.
In the past month have you Smoked: yep
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Of course not, that'd be wrong. My doctor calls it medication.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yes, with my lovely wife.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes, to make plans for my "big ending".
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: I would throw up if I did that.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Oh yeah, love the sushi.
In the past month have you been on Stage: Everyday, but it signifies nothing.
In the past month have you been Dumped: The trash man comes every Thursday, so yes.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I'm 34 years old, so no.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I'm currently not that desperate. I'll let you know though.
Ever been Drunk: I'm 34 years old, so yes.
Ever been called a Tease: No, teasing is cruel.
Ever been Beaten up: More than once. It builds character, damn it!
Ever Shoplifted: Yes, as a starving street urchin, I stole an apple.
How do you want to Die: suddenly and without warning
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I'm 34 years old.
What country would you most like to Visit: Netherlands (Amsterdam)
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: No preference
Favourite Hair Color: I favor brunettes, but I'm not picky.
Short or Long Hair: No preference
Height: taller than a midget, but shorter than Shaq
Weight: I like them chubby, but whatever.
Best Clothing Style: I like goth girls, but whatever.
Number of Drugs I have taken: I'm still counting.
Number of CDs I own: People own CD's these days?
Number of Piercings: I have a well paying job.
Number of Tattoos: four, in socially accepted hiding places
Number of things in my Past I Regret: not one fucking thing!
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My Interests

I'm interested in science, philosophy, and religion of all kinds, though not so much politics. Psychology has bent my thinking permanently. Self defense mechanisms don't work so well once you're hip to them. Never was a better case of ignormance being bliss. I enjoy writing, which follows that I love to read. I am an avid weight lifter, though you can probably tell from my pics that I've got no discipline when it comes to my diet. I love to compare lifting notes. I'm a movie buff ( I watch a lot). I love music of every style. I love my wife and kids. My favorite genre's in all media forms are horror, thrillers, suspense, action/adventure, and comedy. I can handle dramas, but not romantic comedies.I have been known to have a deeply vested interest in partying. Partying Hard. Perhaps too hard at times. I get overly enthusiastic. :D I'm not saying Jim Morrison excess, but I can see his point.


Myspace Graphics

This is dead on....
Your World View
You are a happy, well-balanced person who likes people and is liked by others.
You question whether many conventional views on morality are valid under all circumstances.
You are essentially a content person.

Sometimes, you consider yourself a little superior.
You are moral by your own standards.
You believe that morality is what best suits the occasion. What Is Your World View?

I'd like to meet:

Besides drunk women, I'd like to meet God. I'd have a lot of questions for her. Osama Bin Laden, so I could kill him with my bare hands. Hugh Heffner. Maybe spend the weekend at his place. Frederick Nietzche with a translator, a really good translator. Katy Couric. Is she really that perky?Seriously, I suppose people that are open-minded, or people who are not. I can argue with them. People who are interesting. People who don't take life too seriously. I have the unique ability to put things in perspective, so if ya need that....I'm your man. Although, you should be careful what you wish for.

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Music:

I am honestly into ALL kinds of music. I mean, I don't necessarily like everything, but I've found ways to appreciate various forms of music. If I like it, I like it. I'm always up to try some new group. If you listen to one of my iPod mixes, you'd probably think that I was one mixed up cat. I mean, jazz, techno, country, alternative, classic rock. I might have a string quartet and then Nine Inch Nails. In my younger years, I gravitated towards metal and industrial. They still have a warm spot in my heart, but there's a time and there's a place. Right now, I am listening to Duffy and Kings of Leon.
PRE-Sellout Era

Movies:

I've seen plenty of movies, and I follow the work of my favorite actors and directors. Some of my favorite directors are Scorsese, David Lynch, Tim Burton, Christopher Nolan (da bomb), Quentin Tarantino, David Fincher, Clint Eastwood, Sam Raimi, and M. Night Shyamalan. It's impossible to name all my favorite movies, but I definitely have a few that come to mind. Fight Club, Dune, The Fifth Element, Closetland, LOTR, 1st Matrix, Million Dollar Baby, Mulholland Drive, Blade Runner, Pulp Fiction, The Straight Story, Big Fish, Memento, 12 Monkeys, and Wild at Heart. I'm always ready to give opinions on movies or discuss a review.You are NOT a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else.

Television:

I read AND watch TV. It keeps me busy. It is important that I keep busy. Idle hands are definitely the devil's workshop. I MUST keep occupied. I watch the following shows with regularity: Survivor, Penn & Teller's Bullshit, Jerico, Weeds, Rome, The Daily Show, The Office, and My Name is Earl. With some what less regularity, I watch History Channel, Military Channel, Science Channel, and the Discovery Channel.
Your IQ Is 120
Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius

Your General Knowledge is Above Average A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Books:

I've read or listened to a shit ton of books. Right now, I'm listening to some book by Koontz, I forget. Mostly I listen to fictional novels to pass the time in the car, but I try to stick in some non-fiction (science, history, philosophy). Let's name a few fictional books I liked. Shall we, I mean, if you've read this far you're obviously not busy.:) Choke, Invisible Monsters, and Rant by Chuck Palahniuk (he rules!), Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons (Dan Brown); The Murder Book (Jonathan Kellerman); It, Carie, Misery (Stephen King); Odd Thomas (Dean Koontz); Dark Echo (Chris Connolley). I'm a sucker for Stephen King. I've read all his books. They're very accessible. I'm aware of the fact that I'm not exactly reading "literary" works here, but I don't give a shit. Okay, now some non-fiction: The Physics of Immortality (Tipler), A Brief History of Time (Hawking), Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors (Sagan), The Blank Slate(Steven Pinker), The History of Just About Everything (Bill Bryson), Anti-Christ(Frederick Nietzsche), and Infinity and the Mind (Rudy Rucker).Right now, I am developing a taste for Vonnegut. I'm reading all his shit.

Heroes:

Jonas Salk, Galileo, Albert Einstein, William Shakespear, Ghandi, Thomas Edison, Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Henry David Thoureau, Jesus Christ, that guy that cut his own arm off when it was trapped in a burning tractor.The sad thing about it is that the people I would really consider heroes are almost always nameless or at least not famous.

My Blog

Choke

 Ok.  Next Chuck Palahniuk book that I happened to bother to quote is called, Choke.  It's about a sex addict that scams people by letting them save his life by choking in restaurants a...
Posted by Modern Monkey on Wed, 20 Aug 2008 05:30:00 PST

Excerpts from Chuck Palahniuk’s book Survivor

Ok.  Another book by Chuck on my way to reading them all.  I like this even more than Diary.  It is the very definition of dark, dry comedy.  So funny when it shouldn't be.  L...
Posted by Modern Monkey on Sat, 31 May 2008 10:46:00 PST

Play A Game

I want to play a gameHere's how it goes:Type your name in my blog comments.Once you do that, this is what I'll do for you...1. I'll respond with something random about you.2. I'll tell you which song ...
Posted by Modern Monkey on Tue, 20 May 2008 12:50:00 PST

Chuck Palahniuk - Rant - Excerpt

If you can tolerate nihilsm and have a strong sense of irony, you will really worship Chuck Palahniuk.  I recommend everything he has written.   Ok.  This is from page, 130, of the book...
Posted by Modern Monkey on Sun, 04 May 2008 10:30:00 PST

This shit took forever, had to keep it.

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------From: BenjaminDate: Jan 26, 2008 6:34 PM1) Answer the questions below2) Take each answer and type it into photobucket.3) Take a picture from the fir...
Posted by Modern Monkey on Sun, 27 Jan 2008 03:43:00 PST

New Orleans Saint’s Practice Pics

I am a fair weather fan.  I'll tell you straight up.  I have never really liked sports, because it seems so trivial.  I can't take grown men playing with a ball seriously, no matte...
Posted by Modern Monkey on Wed, 08 Aug 2007 08:54:00 PST

Great Lyrics. Great Song

Ok.  This is one of my favorite songs.  Every time I try to philosophize down to the base of things.  I think of this song. What does it mean to you? Matthew Sweet : The Ugly Truth You...
Posted by Modern Monkey on Sat, 21 Jul 2007 06:36:00 PST

My Previous Post

I was sort of surprised at how many took offense and saw personal attacks in my last two posts.  I honestly didn't expect it.  It was not intended to be about any one individual.  It is...
Posted by Modern Monkey on Wed, 04 Apr 2007 11:20:00 PST

"Friends"

There should be more words for friend.  There should be a way to better express exactly what sort of acquantience a person is.  Generally, the word is held in too high a regard to be used as...
Posted by Modern Monkey on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 08:25:00 PST

Drunk and Disorderly - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

It is common knowledge that people don't behave as their normal selves when they're smashed.  In fact, this is one of the reasons to get smashed in the first place.  Often times, it is diffi...
Posted by Modern Monkey on Sun, 01 Apr 2007 01:46:00 PST