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I am here for Friends

About Me

Hello (as good a way to start as any)I'm Shane (and on it goes!) Abandoned as a baby I was raised by wolves until the age of 5. Although many people may see this as a disadvantge it has left me with the ability to lick my own testicles. I was found wandering in the wild by an ecentric scientist who took me in and used me as a guinea pig in inhuman mind boosting experiments. Due to the fact that I was hooked up to a super-computer being forcibly educated for eight years, I was home schooled until I was 13 at which point I graduated from Oxford university with a first class honors degree in quantum physics with a joint major in applied mathmatics and parapsycology. I went on to complete PHDs in all three subjects by the time I was 15. After leaving the education system I worked for some time as an astrophysicist during which time I discovered life on no less than 17 different planets. At this point I grew tired of academia and became a musician. I played for such diverse acts as noise legends "Manic Ear Slaughter" and the ever popular, yet mysterious "Shane Experience featuring Handsome Conor MacCabe". After having topped the charts to critical acclaim around the world with these bands I felt I had achieved everything I could in the music industry and decided to retire. I now spend my time as a consultant for NASA as a result of which I recently fulfilled my lifelong ambition of dancing to George Micheal's 'Careless Whisper' on Mars. I am currently working towards an attempt to waterski up the Niagra Falls wearing a latex mask of Lionel Richie and a feather boa.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

An identical clone of me, that'd be fuckin' top stuff. Failing that, a crack team of Afghan rebels or another terrorist group who apply extreme violence in their methods of redress who would be willing to accept me as their undisputed leader!

My Blog

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