Todd Brown profile picture

Todd Brown

I'm gonna give you the benefit of the dog on this one.

About Me


Create your own Friend Test here I watch alotta movies (mostly bad ones)...and I'm a hopeless drunk. I love sex...and Christmas...and Stratego. I have nice cursive handwriting. I have many obsessions...I'm nervous and shy and I try covering that up by being perverted and bombastic. I love listening to Doo-Wop.
Your Vampire Name Is...
Homer of New Orleans What's Your Vampire Name? Aside from being a hopeless drunk, I'm also a hopeless romantic (AKA, a loser). I'm a writer of many unfinished screenplays and the proud finisher of a few. I'm from Ohio originally and I love playing Euchre. I've killed two possums in my lifetime. Chocolate milk is another passion of mine...and cherries. I order Vodka Collins at the bar just to get the cherries, I think. Ironically, I don't like the chocolate ice cream with the cherry chunks in it. I don't get all excited about cake like some people do. I mean, it tastes good and shit, but I'm not crazy about it. I've never been kicked in the nuts before. I've only called a girl "bitch" to her face once before, and that was in the 8th grade. She slapped me. Oh, and I enjoy Ping Pong too. And Cajun food. And those music channels on Cable. Especially the oldies ones. Oh, yeah, yeah - I almost forgot to tell ya' this one - I like cooking. BBQ Chicken Pizza is my specialty. Check me out on my webcam at www.desperatewhore.com ..

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

People that are dumber than me cause I don't need to learn nuthin' no more than I do now got it good Dippi-di-doo's, la-di-di-da's, gooda-di-googa-di's and picka-di-pooga-di's. Someone who wants to fuck me for what I look like, not who I am Oh, and I also want to meet someone who is honest and caring and giving and smart and funny and beautiful and creative and loving and blah and blah and blah and blah and blah and blah and blah and blah and blah - Good gravy from Jerusalem, what the ham sandwich you talkin' 'bout, Hezekiah?

adopt your own virtual pet!
Your Irish Name Is...
Padraig Kavanagh What's your Irish Name?

Music:

The Chantels, Esquivel, Grupo Limite, Sam Cooke, Bob Dylan, ABBA, Lisa Lisa and The Cult Jam, The Pixies, The Beatles, SLAYER, Tangram, Logan, Lockdown, The Velvet Underground, The Cars, The Supremes, Elvis Costello, Chicago, The Beach Boys, Frankie Vallie and the Four Seasons, The Four Tops, any cheesy pop/r&b from the 80's/early 90's, The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Simon and Garfunkel, The Clash, The Ramones, Pantera, The Kinks, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Cat Stevens, Christmas music, Billy Joel, Elton John, Bobby Vinton, early Bee Gees (not so much the disco years, though it is amusing), the soundtracks to: Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Glory, JFK, Rushmore, and Breakfast at Tiffany's

Movies:

My top 50 favorite movies are... 1) IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE 2) SCHINDLER'S LIST 3) JFK 4) CASBLANCA 5) GLORY 6) PULP FICTION 7) TERMS OF ENDEARMENT 8) GOODFELLAS 9) HAPPINESS 10) RUSHMORE 11) ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST 12) ELECTION 13) HANNAH AND HER SISTERS 14) MURIEL'S WEDDING 15) SIDEWAYS 16) ORDINARY PEOPLE 17) BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S 18) ED WOOD 19) THE PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO 20) JAWS 21) BEING JOHN MALKOVICH 22) MANHATTAN 23) DEAD ALIVE 24) A FEW GOOD MEN 25) ANNIE HALL 26) THE GODFATHER PART II 27) THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI 28) DECONSTRUCTING HARRY 29) BEAUTIFUL GIRLS 30) ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND 31) BANANAS 32) WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER 33) THE SHINING 34) THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING 35) MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL 36) STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK 37) BOOGIE NIGHTS 38) MONTY PYTHON'S LIFE OF BRIAN 39) THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS 40) HIGH FIDELITY 41) DR. STRANGELOVE OR: HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB 42) BRAVEHEART 43) THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS 44) A SHOT IN THE DARK 45) REAR WINDOW 46) PARENTHOOD 47) SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER & UNCUT 48) NOSFERATU: A SYMPHONY OF HORROR 49) TREES LOUNGE 50) TOP SECRET! Some other personal favorites of mine include: ALL THE REAL GIRLS, THE DEPARTED, ANATOMY OF A MURDER, THREE O'CLOCK HIGH, THE LOST WEEKEND, NOW VOYAGER, THE PETRIFIED FOREST, THE LITTLE FOXES, PALINDROMES, DRESSED TO KILL, DRUGSTORE COWBOY, PSYCHO, JERRY MAGUIRE, ALMOST FAMOUT (DIRECTOR'S CUT), THE UNTOUCHABLES, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, ANGEL HEART, BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY, MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON, TAKE THE MONEY & RUN, THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS OR: PARDON ME BUT YOUR TEETH ARE IN MY NECK, CRIMES & MISDEMEANORS, THE DOORS, DEAD POETS SOCIETY, CADDYSHACK, BETTER OFF DEAD, TWELVE ANGRY MEN, SAY ANYTHING..., THE CAINE MUTINY, BOTTLE ROCKET, PLANES TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES, SWINGERS, BATMAN BEGINS, THE ICE STORM, A FISH CALLED WANDA, THE WIZARD OF OZ, SUPERMAN 1 & 2, HAROLD & MAUDE, THE PAPER CHASE, METROPOLIS, CLERKS, THE NEVERENDING STORY, FRIGHT NIGHT, HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP, TAXI DRIVER, MEET THE FEEBLES, ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY, THE WEDDING SINGER, FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF, DUMB & DUMBER, REPULSION, BASIC INSTINCT (DIRECTOR'S CUT), HALLOWEEN, NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE, REVENGE OF THE NERDS, KILL BILL 1 & 2, TRUE ROMANCE, INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE: THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES, BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN, LAWRENCE OF ARABIA, NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, DAWN OF THE DEAD, COMING TO AMERICA (the last movie Eddie Murphy was good in), SEVEN, FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, CITY LIGHTS, TALK TO HER, DO THE RIGHT THING, DRACULA (1931), MULHOLLAND DRIVE, THE ELEPHANT MAN, BLUE VELVET, ERASERHEAD, EASY RIDER, MAGNOLIA, HARD EIGHT, PUNCH DRUNK LOVE, THE LOST BOYS, LICENSE TO DRIVE, LUCAS, CARRIE, THE GOONIES, STRAW DOGS, NAKED GUN: FROM THE FILES OF POLICE SQUAD, STAND BY ME, GHOST WORLD, BULLY, WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE, DAZED & CONFUSED, I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA, FIVE EASY PIECES, THE GRADUATE, ADAPTATION, AIRPLANE!, THE EXORCIST, ROSEMARY'S BABY, DIE HARD, KINGPIN, SIN CITY, BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA, HEATHERS, TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE, BEETLEJUICE, THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, THE AVIATOR, THE LAST WALTZ, MEAN STREETS, FRANKENSTEIN (1930), M, ET: THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL, THE GODFATHER, AWAKENINGS, MONTY PYTHON'S THE MEANING OF LIFE, GOOD WILL HUNTING, THIS BOY'S LIFE, A LITTLE PRINCESS, RESERVOIR DOGS, ABOUT SCHMIDT, JACOB'S LADDER, BOB ROBERTS, FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, GREMLINS, GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH, HEAVENLY CREATURES, FORGOTTEN SILVER, BAD TASTE, THE FRIGHTENERS, CHASING AMY (Kevin Smith's best movie, for anyone who cares), SCARLET STREET, RAISING ARIZONA, FARGO, DUCK SOUP, ANIMAL CRACKERS, A NIGHT AT THE OPERA, A DAY AT THE RACES, ON THE WATERFRONT, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (the original), NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: THE DREAM WARRIORS, A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE, ROMEO & JULIET (1968), MACBETH (Polanski's), RAGING BULL, STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE, STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI, LA CONFIDENTIAL, AMERICAN BEAUTY, ALIENS, THE DIRTY DOZEN, ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 (the original), ALL ABOUT EVE, NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION, NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION, A CHRISTMAS STORY, BACK TO THE FUTURE, BLAZING SADDLES, YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, PATTON, A HARD DAY'S NIGHT, KIDS, GHOSTBUSTERS, SERIAL MOM, LOST IN TRANSLATION, WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT, HARRY POTTER & THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN, BEFORE SUNRISE, BEFORE SUNSET, SCHOOL OF ROCK, SPELLBOUND, KOYANNISQATSI, DARK VICTORY, HEDWIG & THE ANGRY INCH and THE BIG LEBOWSKI. For those of you who actually enjoy watching horrible movies as I do...I'd recommend the following "films." BOG, WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM 2, TROLL 2, FIEND, TURKISH STAR WARS (THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE STRIKES BACK), VISITING HOURS, DEADLY WEAPON, ICE PRINCESS, MONSTER-IN-LAW, THE CHAIN GANG KILLINGS, NIGHT OF A THOUSAND CATS, AFTER DEATH, CRAZY FAT ETHEL PART TWO, TEENAGE PSYCHO A GO-GO, CAFE FLESH, YUKS! THE REAL MOVIE, HAMBURGER: THE MOVIE, ROLLERBLADE, JUDGEMENT DAY, HOLLYWOOD HOT TUBS, PSYCHIC, THE FORGOTTEN URN, THE DEADLY BUDDHA, NECROMANTIC, PIRANHA, PIRANHA, SALO: THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM, IN A GLASS CAGE, CURSE OF THE BLUE LIGHTS, MAN BEHIND THE SUN, HOSPITAL OF TERROR, HOUSE OF THE PARK ON THE EDGE, TAILSTING, BLOODSUCKING FREAKS, WACKO, SUPERMAN 3, A WALK IN THE CLOUDS, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, COMBAT SHOCK, RATS' NIGHT OF TERROR, ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER MAN, ANKLE BITERS (thanks for reminding me, Jody), CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS, ROBO WAR, SEVEN LUCKY NINJA KIDS, SURVIVING CHRISTMAS, NIGHT OF THE BLOODY TRANSPLANT, ZOLTAN: HOUND OF DRACULA, MONSTER DOG, NIGHTDREAMS, CATWOMAN, DOMINIQUE IS DEAD, EATEN ALIVE, DEATH NURSE, MUTANT HUNT, THE JITTERS, & anything starring YAHOO SERIOUS! (in an angry and ridiculously over the top Boston accent) Rush out and see these movies NOW!

Books:

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

Heroes:

"Love means having to say you're sorry every fifteen minutes." - John Lennon "My motto is: More good times." - Jack Nicholson "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else." - Woody Allen "Boy, do I hate that this thing has happened and I doubly hate it cause it happened in my county." - Todd Brown, quoting Sherriff Neil Reidholm, Aldo Ray's character from the Carl N. Kitt scripted, Don Keeslar directed BOG, shot on location in Wisconsin in 1978, released in 1984. Also starring Marshall Thompson, Gloria DeHaven, Ed Clark and a special appearance by Leo Gordon. Cinematography by WINGS. "Stop hurting me!" screams disgusting child that no one will ever care about. Who wants to go to Wapakoneta, Ohio?

My Blog

The Goonies (A Non-Angry, Unemotional & Unironic Blog)

Can someone please step up and tell me what better movie there is from the 1980's than The Goonies? Go on and try it.See? You can't do it. Below I have irrefutable evidence to support my claim..1. The...
Posted by Todd Brown on Sat, 14 Jun 2008 04:10:00 PST

Long live Hidalgo...and Caligula too!

My father told me that since I am now 28 years young, it's time that I start getting my shit together. Because he's my father and I wouldn't be here without him, I thought I'd give "getting my sh...
Posted by Todd Brown on Thu, 05 Jun 2008 04:39:00 PST

"Brown plays part of broken record convincingly."

Dear Person already regretting they opened this blog,I've written all there is to be written about my own misery. New words would have to be created so I could tell you all in a fresh way how I disgus...
Posted by Todd Brown on Wed, 14 May 2008 09:15:00 PST

It’s my gournal...write my thoughts in it everyday.

Viewing Blazing Saddles in its entirety for the first time in years does something to a man. It reminds him that American cinema, in particular American comedy, used to have balls...not honest balls, ...
Posted by Todd Brown on Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:06:00 PST

Alcoholism is a disease

...and I am the star patient. Alcoholism, or Gelinek's Disease, is not something to gloat about, contrary to what any seventeen year-old will tell you. It is a condition that destroys lives and helps ...
Posted by Todd Brown on Fri, 22 Feb 2008 03:15:00 PST

"Hannah Montana is evil!" cries woman in need of purpose (and dick)

Hypothetical situation... My eight year old son locks himself in a spooky attic and doesn't come out for hours. While he's in there, he supposedly "reads a book," but in fact, plays an integral part i...
Posted by Todd Brown on Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:04:00 PST

I didn’t vote, bitch.

Not because I don't care about this country or this state, though time and time again evidence supports that theory. And not because I'm lazy, though a case could be made for that as well. It's not ev...
Posted by Todd Brown on Wed, 06 Feb 2008 10:18:00 PST

Notes from Scabsville, U.S.A., population Mine Truly

Okay, we can all stop caring now. In particular, about The Academy Awards. Well I'll stop caring after this blog is previewed and posted. Gripe 1: The Simpsons is left out as a nominee for B...
Posted by Todd Brown on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 11:51:00 PST

Chooka chooka chooka chooka...

Ah, the misery train...I've been writing more blogs lately...I guess I'm restless. Giving up substance abuse for a couple months'll do that to ya.' No drugs. No booze. My feeble attempt at getting my ...
Posted by Todd Brown on Sun, 06 Jan 2008 12:43:00 PST

There Will Be Confusion

We've reached the point where people want the next great American film to happen so badly that they simply create the illusion of one. Or is it that simple?There Will Be Blood, the latest from Paul Th...
Posted by Todd Brown on Sat, 05 Jan 2008 12:30:00 PST