6 Kinds of sex
1. The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period; you keep doing it until you're blue in the face.2. The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen on the table, etc.3. The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.4. The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is the phase in which you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Screw you!" This is also called oral sex by some.5. There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you for everything you own in front of everyone in the courtroom.6. There is also Social Security Sex...that's when you get some once a month but it's not enough to live on...
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Graphics & LayoutsCalmness in our livesI am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice I heard, you too, can find inner peace. "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished."So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished this morning. Following Doctor's advice, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Scotch, a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, a box of chocolates and two lonely bottles of Guinness.You have no idea how freaking good I feel.Now, go forth and find the inner peace in your homes……
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