I've learned that the best way to know who you are and how you've lived is to write it out.. so no, I didn't write this because I was bored. I don't get bored.
If you don't know me personally, you should probably just kill yourself. my name is John and i kick major ass. i play football, listen to music, and bum cigarettes. If im not doing any of those then im expanding my knowledge of yoga, lawn mowers, eating, making number 2, or i am blacked out drunk talking shit trying to get fucked. i talk to myself a pretty decent amount, but it's okay because nobody else understands what the fuck im talking about. i like the high life. i rape kids at NCAA on ps3. what else do i do... i drink beer. Fast. i can drink beer faster than anyone. i drink beer for money. i like pro football, poker, writing songs/poetry/suicide notes, laughing at the misfortunes of others and looking at myself in the mirror. i think i am a fairly nice kid but everyone else seems to think i'm a complete asshole. they still like me though. that's pretty much it. stay in school, say no to drugs and don't listen to your pets when they tell you to kill your self.... animals have sick senses of humor. oh wait do you want my AIM!?!?!?! suck my dick for it! thanks jose and eddy for the inspiration... keep in mind this is myspace and everything here is just for fun, dont get all pissed off and shit!
now that i have all that out of the way there is a lot of shit to say, read the blogs; thats where all the good stuff is. if you don't like reading, you should probably hit the back button now... unless you're just the type that looks at pictures...
Your Political Profile:
Overall: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal
Social Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal
Ethics: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal
How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?
I'll continue adding to my "about me" until I am the undisputed world record holder.
I didn't have a problem when she forgot her deodorant and asked to use mine. I did have a problem when the smell of my own deodorant turned me on.
I appreciate negative feedback, I just have a funny way of showing my appreciation.
I dont think girls need to take a hot shot to the face to show their love... chin omlettes are not really a sign of affection.
I dont understand why she got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
I think I'm a dork and I often wonder what people are thinking or saying about me when I'm not around. I sometimes am overwhelmed by the feeling that everyone around me hates me.
I used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But I wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town.
I got sent out of art class a lot in high school because I asked questions the teacher couldn't answer - happens to be the same reason I stopped going to church.
I know the speed of light in miles per hour (669,600,000mph) why?
I think people should be afraid of their governments, instead of politicians being afraid of the people.
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?" or "Do you have that $50 you borrowed?" Man, quit being so cheap!
I love peanut butter and honey sandwiches.
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think its okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
I'd rather be poor and intelligent than stupid and rich.
think in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
If I die under mysterious circumstances, or "suicide" – read my blog
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
I wish I could live a hundred lives and learn something completely different each time, get shitloads of perspectives on life... be rich, be poor, be a scientist, or an athlete - there is so much more to life than we could ever understand - but that shouldn't stop us from trying to understand it.
I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.
I can piss while i'm walking.
I enjoy time alone - I love taking walks by myself and listening to music. if I spend too much time alone I end up doing strange things to my body.
I recently broke a long habit of pulling my dick out and showing it to people, though I still bite my fingernails.
I believe the history books will portray 2001 as the onset of world war 3...
I've learned it's ok sometimes to say "I don't know"
I get really shy sometimes and people think I am an asshole because I don't talk to them, but that's just not it at all. I think just about all of my best friends hated my guts before they got to know me - I guess I'm just one of those types of people. I'm really sarcastic but I know when to allow myself to be sincere and vulnerable.
I love a good joke, but i have trouble telling them well and even more trouble remembering them in the first place.
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
I have a terrible habit of interrupting people while they're talking, but it's not because I'm not listening, I just get anxious to share my opinion.
I believe in ghosts, but I'm not sure if I believe they are what most people think they are.
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
I was not a popular kid in school, but i hung out with some of them enough to know they were just as insecure and awkward as i was.
I think it takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
I can play with my balls all day and not get tired of it.
I always get weird around new years, I get really self analytical and introspective and I examine everything about who I am and who I want to be
I don't consider myself to be a very good fighter, like a UFC fighter or anything, but I’m tougher than a $2 steak .
I think it's really sad that some people look back on their school days as the best times of their lives. I will never attend a high school reunion, so if you're organizing one, leave me alone.
I don't mind people knowing about personal stuff, as long as they know what I choose to disclose.
I think it's terrible how little respect some people have for personal boundaries sometimes.
I think its great you can read everything on this page and still not know shit about me!
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