I'm a very down to earth and low-key guy, definitely a Type B personality - relaxed, uncompetitive, and inclined to self-analysis. Personally, I think I'm kinda boring, but those who really know me say that couldn't be further from the truth. It takes time for me to open up to people, so while I often come off as cold, distant, and serious, it's only because I'm just shy. If in fact you do get to know me, you'll find that I'm also a giver, a nurturer, and a provider. I'm one of those people you want behind you in your corner. I'm also a problem-solver and a challenge-accepter. I don't throw my hands up and walk away from a difficult situation; no, I see what problem is, figure out how to fix it, and then take the necessary steps to ensure it doesn't happen again. When I commit to something, I become completely dedicated and focused on it. But not in a creepy, obsessive, overbearing way.
Humor is a big part of my life, I <3 teh funny. I have a very dry, acerbic, deadpan wit, and people often have trouble telling the difference between me being serious and me just joking around. I have a tendency to make light of grave or serious situations by saying something completely inappropriate in hopes to throw people off guard and lighten the mood. Sometimes this backfires. Some people just can't take a joke.
I'm very Catholic. Not in the "woo yay jesus" sense, but in the sense that I worry and feel guilty about everything. I chalk it up to the 16 years of Catholic school I went through. But I also have a friend in Flying Spaghetti Monster, for I have have been touched by His Noodly Appendage.
Politics. You could say I subscribe to a pragmatic social contractarian belief system, which means I'm too liberal for Republicans, and too conservative for Democrats. I guess that makes me a Libertarian.
I am a workaholic. I work a lot. Six days a week, 10 hours a day Monday through Friday, and 8 hours on Saturdays, to be exact. I love my job; I give it my all because I have nothing else to give my all too. In the few hours of free time I have when I'm not at work or sleeping, I'm thinking about the work I'll have to do, when I am at work again. I think I have a problem. And no social life whatsoever.
By the way, if you've read this far, give yourself a nice round of applause and a cookie. Most people click the "back" button on their browser once they see lots of text and no amusing YouTube videos. I do have one small favor to ask of you though; if you are considering sending me a friend request, please also send me a message informing me that you like smearing mud on your ass. That way I'll be content in the knowledge that you at least partially think of me as a real person and not just as another pretty face to add to your collection of MySpace friends, you friend whore you. At this point, I could just keep typing in one incredibly long unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic but instead, I'll make some lists:
Things Which Bring Me Joy:
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My Keurig B70 coffee machine
My 1995 white Jeep Cherokee Country
Amusement parks
WPA-era artwork
Good, if not excellent, communication skills
Horticulture
Honesty and unpretentiousness
Random acts of kindness, generosity, and goodwill
Monogamy
Proper spelling and grammar on teh intarweb
Irony, satire, and parody
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Below-the-waist body piercings
Vacuousness and vapidity
Drama/attention whores
Facade People - all appearance, no substance.
Dancing
Watching NASCAR, professional wrestling, competitive sporting events, or reality television.
Duplicity and beating-around-the-bushness.
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Cats
Raw fruits and vegetables
Walnuts, almonds, pecans, and hazelnuts
Children under the age of 16
Stupidity
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Diet Coke with Lime over Diet Pepsi with Lemon
Beer over mixed drinks
Pirates over ninjas
Going to a bar to socialize over going to a club to dance
Kohl's and Tarzhay over Old Navy, Gap, and Abercrombie & Fitch
I was kidding about the smearing mud on your ass
Tell me you like to fondle sweaters instead
You'd be surprised how few people ever get this far
It's kind of disappointing, really
Neatly wrapped-up endings over long, drawn-out, ragged ones
The End. HOORAY!