chu; natalie;

I'd like to meet:

"Every man naturally desires a superiority" -Thomas Vaughan

"Spike was not easy to love - he was easy to adore, to want, to need, to like, but love? No, not to love - that took concentration and effort, and an ability to see beyond what was apparent. "

You find yourself in the oddest of places.
i feel like if i could just concentrate myself. To heal these fractures. To bring every aspect of myself to one place. I could do great things. I could conquer. but there's just too many pieces. Left in some past bedroom, between slick sheets. These pieces just don't see eye-to-eye. I was born to do great things; but death is such a pretty legacy. i'll go down with my head high, as i gag around your prominent ignorance, i'll keep my eyes open to the freedom, as the tears start to fall and join your salty beads, i'll stare into your demeanor. as you cum into me, i won't fault. i know you're in the wrong. we know you crossed line. i won't belittle this as the sweet sweet damsel.
my hands not shaking, my throat isn't tying in knots. i was already on my knees, that's why i haven't yett stood..

you've not conquered me. that was my job. i was born to do great things. this won't be my legacy. this is only a pause, gap, a fracture. another piece i can pick up on another day. ....i can taste it on my tongue.

Humans have great faults, they're beautiful. We have the ability to see patterns that aren't really there.
-it's why your boyfriend thinks you're cheating on him. He can pick up conclusions that aren't there. He can fantasize an entire different person. Different dates. Different names. when, nothings, there.
-it's why we can create our sweet music. Melodys from chords. Notes and rythem. They weren't there until we identified them. Identified them from nothing, they weren't there.
-it's like the big bang. You know, there was nothing at all, and then it exploaded and here we are. We've been thrown out through space, you know. Space, expanding into nothing-ness. It all makes perfect sense to us, humans.
-it's just like g-d. ofcourse, humans and g-d. One of our greatest obsessions, heros, the idols. G-d. G-ds. This magnificant being of grandure, free of error. Free of limitation. Free of anything substantial at all, as once again. Nothing is there.
But what if you are cheating on your boyfriend, another fuck, another day. You press your full lips into his engorged slit. I feel something substantial there.
But what if you're not creating any music. What if you're just taking someone elses work and effort. Regurgitating slogans and half truths, which suits todays facade. What if the only true first song, was written by something. And all you've done it exploited it. Grown your friends. Grown your pressance. Grown your ego, along with your hair. But that reminds me of something else, oh yes!
The big bang. The edifice of lies, that your children and friends are being told for the GCSEs. A theory, no proof. No laws. Nothing substantial, alike g-d itself. ...Unless g-d put it there...
In maths, when working out the Nth term. You must check to see if your formula fits every example.
I don't know what i've just said. Did my pretty pattern just verify g-d. Did i belittle your song? Do you feel a little less secure next to your generation girlfriend, with probable loose morals?
I don't know.
I feel like g-d is mainly apparentl in the dirty gritty bits of life. Maybe he prefers it that way.