There are two essential basic strategies for success in
business: 1. Never reveal all you Know. 2....
Latest News: My girlfriend came into my flat today and
said "I can't see you any more." I said, " I'm here,behind
the sofa!"
UPDATE;
I took my girlfriend up the OXO Tower for her Birthday.She
was a bit heistant at first because she didn't think it was
her scene.How wrong she was!!! I know it's a bit of a
strain on the old back pocket and initially it's a bit
uncomfortable, but a couple of cocktails helped her relax
and soon was well getting into it - in fact we carried on
well into the night!!!It was a great experience and she
really loved it ..So much so that she won't let me take her
anywhere else!!!! So if anyone ever wants to take you up
the Oxo Tower, just throw caution to the wind and go for it!
I saw a beautiful woman the other day, she was wearing a t-
shirt with 'GUESS' on it..I said "Is it Dodgey Piles?"
You know that look women get when they want sex?
NO? me neither!!!!
I saw 6 men kicking and punching my ex girlfriend. My
friend said "Are you going to help?"
I thought 6 was enough!!
I'm dead against Animal Testing ,They get nervous and give
the wrong answers!!!!
I often drown my troubles, but the girlfriend is an olympic
swimmer!!!
When I was kid , I prayed every night for a new bike, but
realised the Lord works in mysterious ways..So I stole one
and prayed for forgiveness!!
"Being a Dyslexic Stuntman , I do a lot of CUNNING STUNTS. I realised I was Dyslexic when I turned up to a Toga party as a Goat !!!
Outside of a dog , a book is man's best friend.Inside! it's too Dark to Read....
I hope when I die,people will say of me "That guy sure
owed me a lot of money.""
Went on a blind date the other night !! It didn't work ..we
couldn't see each other!!!!!! also the guide dog got in the
way !!!
I went to the butchers the other day , I asked the butcher where was his assistant. He told me he had to sack him as he was putting his dick in the bacon slicer. I was astonished so I asked him what happen to the bacon slicer. " I had to sack her aswell !!! "
Why is it many people's dying wish is to have their family around them? I can't help thinking they'd be better off with more Oxygen!!
I went to a Charity Fetish Ball the other week . A Beautiful Rubber Clad Domme with a clipboard and pen came up to me and asked If I could spare a few minutes for Cancer Research ! I said "OK , but you won't get much done in that time !!!"
Is it said that cats have nine lives !! they'd be great for animal experimentation.
Finally I question I could never find the answer to ! How does a Snowplough Driver get to work ?
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