42351854

"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting."
I've written many "about me sections" for Myspace, VF and Bebo and I’m still not perfectly happy with any of them. this "about me" is no acceptation.
THE FACTS.
Things change. People change. I don't have to prove anything to you because it’s just Myspace I'm tired of people on Myspace calling each other ugly and hating people they don't know just to make themselves feel better about being jealous. Get over it. I'm tired of girls and their self-made tragedies. Sad stories are not supposed to be beautiful or glorious. I'm also tired of people who lack compassion and empathy. I'm not better than you. You're not better than me. We're all equal and we're all just people. Don't call me sugar, bby, cutie, sexy, etc. You don't have a chance with me right now. I take a lot of new pictures. I care about how I look because it is a reflection of who I am. Don't tell me I'm flawless or perfect because just like everyone else, I am not. I don't know if I look better in person or not. Meet me and tell me? You don't have to like me but you should treat me with respect because that's how I’ll treat you. Get your facts straight before you try to insult me. If you have a problem with me, you can A. yell at me about it. Or B. talk to me about it. Chances are if you yell at me I won't take you seriously. But if you have the maturity to treat me like a human being, maybe I'll listen. Fact is, though, I won't change for anybody but me. Sorry if that upsets you. But I'm not here to impress you.
THE BASICS.
I used to change my profile as much as I changed my feelings but honestly I couldn’t care less how “Epic” my background is. I have an addiction to gory stuff. Ever since I can remember, I have loved photography. My sense of humour is really weird and sarcastic. I like singing because it clears my mind, that and writing are the only things that sooth me. But it's mostly to benefit me and organize my feelings. Making Myspace about me’s also help me organize my feelings. So does talking to people. I like doodling. I am full of useless information and random facts e.g. did you know that your ears and nose never stop growing. I find body hair disgusting so I shave it off. I have an issue with feet and no one can touch mine. I don't think you can put a value on people's problems. Just because other people may have it worse, it doesn't make your problems insignificant. That's not to say it’s okay to be ungrateful. I wish everything were beautiful. I try to find the beauty in everything. I sometimes wonder what everything means and how it relates to other things. I wonder about outer space and life on earth. I wonder about people and how they work I wonder a lot of different things but don’t always tend to talk about them. I wish I understood exactly how everyone looked at life. Interactions fascinate me. Homeless people make me want to cry. I go to shows *when they don't suck.* I'm a VERY picky eater. I lose jewellery in cars. I can't dance. Daytime car rides make me sleepy. I am VERY VERY bad at directions, but I'm good at remembering my way back from places. I don't like coffee but I love the smell. I love coke even though my dentist says it’s really bad for me. I have a stomach ulcer, which I’m told is very bad for a 16yr old but that doesn't stop me from being who I am nor does it stop me from trying to reach my goals. I live in the moment, in memories, and in future plans. I appreciate when people tell me their honest opinions. It beats being clueless. I don't PMS so don't blame mood swings on it. I'm extremely ticklish. Tickle me if you must but I will fight back:] I make jokes that no one gets. I miss my childhood. I miss when I had nothing to worry about. My dog died when I was eight, he was one of my best friends we would play in the backyard for hours he would chase me until I got so tired I dropped to the ground. I think a lot of things are interesting. I can't sleep at night. My favourite time of day is 11:11. I make wishes on stars and eyelashes even if they don't come true. I have a lot to learn.
THE PROS.
I live life to the fullest. I have a lot of fun. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. So I'm over that. From here on out, I am HAPPY. I recently decided I am pretty weird. I'm sick of trends even though I may follow a few. I am trying to eat healthier because I'm deathly afraid of fat and diabetes. I'm honest even though sometimes people don't want to hear it. But when I am honest, I do it nicely. I am very opinionated. I know what I want, what I like, and I stand up for it. I'm loyal. I value my friends more than anything. I'm a nice person. I appreciate things. I’m very down to earth, realistic and logical, but that doesn’t stop me from loving and enjoying fantasy and the imagination that life often brings me. I'm considerate and compassionate. I’m understanding. I go out of my way for people a lot. I don't cause stupid drama but if you do, don't expect me to back down or give up easily just because I'm nice. I'll defend myself to the tooth and nail. I am growing to be independent and am learning to know what’s best for myself and not others. I am trying not to make other people decide things for me but sometimes if I can’t decide for myself I ask those close to me not random people who know nothing about me. I try to have an open mind to other people's views. I pity almost everyone, even if there's no reason to. People are getting used to me. I’m told I look quite intimidating, but really, I'm quite friendly. I appreciate being given a chance. I'm outgoing and random. I don't hate anyone until I have reason. I am easily won over but I am not easily convinced of things. Generally I try to avoid needless conflict. I know how to choose my battles. I know how to swallow my pride. But that doesn't mean I do it all the time. If it’s really an issue then I won't drop it. I am true to myself. I can be exciting to be around. I give too many second chances. I don’t trust easily but open up easily call it weird but that’s how I am. Finally, I'm pretty happy with my life. In time, everything balances out. In time, everything heals itself. I like giving advice sometimes... I make friends quickly. I try to see situations from ALL ANGLES before making any conclusions. I'm always up for an adventure. I am strong willed. I observe things. I try to find meanings in the meaningless. I'm very curious. I want to know how the world works. Sometimes I pay attention to commercials. I haven't completely lost hope. I learn from every mistake. I'm very intricate. I'm trying to improve. I'm trying to be completely myself; uninfluenced by influences I don't want to sway me. I'm trying to accept and fix all my flaws. I take risks.
THE CONS.
I think too much. I criticize myself and everything I do. Sometimes I can't control my emotions. I talk in movies. I love to argue. I have to voice my opinions. I get frustrated easily. I'm probably a hypocrite. I'm very shy until I feel extremely comfortable although recently i’ve been adapting to people quicker and being more and more “out there”. I am stubborn. I overreact. I am impatient. I view myself how I want to be rather than how I am. I'm more talkative real life than online sometimes... It's hard for me to change the things I want to. I don't try new things easily. I am stupid and naive. I always make jokes too soon. I procrastinate really badly. People never listen to me. I like to be right but I hardly ever am. I try to tell people how I feel but they shut me down, which makes me less open with my problems. I don't admit it when something's wrong unless I'm with just one person or it’s something major. I always confront people about things I most likely shouldn't. When people tell me I'm gorgeous I ALWAYS disagree. Then I get mad when I don't look great. I tend make rules for other people that I don't follow myself it’s a habit and it’s stupid, but it makes me a character. I worry about friends growing away from me. I worry about almost everything. I forget a lot of things and get stressed easily. I'm extremely paranoid. Sometimes I'm too hard on myself. I am horrible at decision-making. I am horrible at knowing what to say, And how to say it. I sometimes make situations harder than they are. I often take things the wrong way. I can be selfish, especially with food. But that's different than greedy. I can be vein and shallow, but it’s happening less and less.
THE INBETWEENS.
I'm working on it.
I am trying not to take things so seriously and let go of little things that bother me. I'm trying not to make big deals and drama. I am trying to be more confident and assertive about how I feel. I am trying not to think that I need other people. I am trying to be more self-reliant. I am indecisive because I always wait for people to make my decisions for me. Well that's going to change. I am trying not to want things or be jealous. I am trying to accept myself for who I am. I'm trying to be okay with just being me. I am trying to be more independent. I am trying not to let myself give up and to be motivated. I am trying. That’s who I think I am... But in the end, everyone decides who everyone else is and what everyone else is, no matter what you think of yourself. Everyone decides how much everyone else is worth. So am I worth it?
FORGET IT.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE.
There is more to me than this.
In these 16 years of my lifetime I’ve learned that you can't depend upon other people for what you want, and you can't be scared to go out there and get it. You have to dream hard, wish big, and chase after your goals, because no one else is going to do it for you. And even if things don't work out, you'll always be able to say you tried.
Have you ever really enjoyed a movie so much that you can't wait to show it to all of your friends and when you do show them, you feel so much dependence on whether they laugh or cry at the same point you did? I mean, you look over at them, just willing them to show similar emotion. I hate those moments. The moments where you are so unwelcome to the fact that you may just be an individual.
Words to live by: Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conductive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.
You can submit your pictures to be posted in one of thousands of galleries, display your personality in small incomplete sentences within your "about me" section, and reveal your thoughts and expose your feelings through typed words over the barriers of a computer monitor. All for what? A desperate attempt to make yourself known, that's what. Our most secretive intimacies are known to the masses here. This isn't merely a dating agency nor a singles network. It's an advertisement for ourselves, or who we want to be.
Life will always make you suffer for the smiles. For every song you love, there is the song that breaks your heart. For every tender kiss, there is the heartbreak that follows. For every great friendship there is the betrayal that hollows. For every life you have, there is the eventual gallows.

i want to meet a boy.
who is true to a relationship.
who is reliable.
who won't just be dating me as a trophy.
who is true to me and more importantly true to himself.
who won't lead me on.
who won’t lie or cheat or hurt me.
who i can call my lover and my best friend.
who when im not in his presence I feel as tho we're a million miles apart.
who can make me smile no matter how distraught I am.
Who will be there like i would be for them.
Someone made just for me.
a boy who will go on an adventure with me.
a boy who will buy me flowers when im sick.
a boy who will buy me flowers just because.
a boy who will take me on picnic's at the beach, in a park even in a carpark.
a boy who will stay up all night with me if i can't sleep.
a boy who will cuddle with me while we play nintendo.
a boy who will hold my hand, and give me his jacket when im cold.
a boy who will laugh with me, and give me a nickname.
a boy who will keep me on my toes and keep the conversation going.
a boy who will sing cute songs to me no matter how funny he may sound.
a boy who will make a complete fool out of himself to make me smile and laugh.
a boy who will embarrass me in front of both our friends with a cute, romantic gesture.
a boy who gets along with my parents.
a boy who will tell me what's on his mind and not keep things from me.
a boy who doesn't care what i look like.
a boy who doesn't care that i'm bad at math.
a boy who doesn't care that i talk way to fast.
a boy who doesn't care that i sometimes talk in circles.
a boy that doesn't care if i make no sense but still tries to make sense of what i say.
I want a boy who's confident, not vain, who's smart, not a smartass.
I want a boy who's strong, physically and emotionally.
I want a boy who's mentally stable, not another mental case that I have to fix.
I have had my share of assholes. And sadly, the best boyfriend I've ever had, treated me like shit. I mean, he made me feel like the entire world somedays. But then would cheat on me, repeatedly. But somehow...I always found a way to forgive him.
I'm not looking for perfection.
I'm not looking for flawless, or vanity.
I'm looking for someone real.
Honest, loyal, and loves me for who i am.
I'm a cuddle fiend. Can't we just sit on the couch and watch a cute love story, without having to have it resort to sex?
Playful, flirty, teasing, hopeless romantic gestures to give me memories that will last a life time.
Serious, down-to-earth, and plans for the future seperate you from boys to men.
Understand me. Know me. Tell me you love me. Make me feel like I'm the only one.
That is my perfection.
i don't want a boy who is a liar, a cheeter or a prick.
i don't want a boy who can't handel when he's wrong.
i don't want a boy who can't live with his decisions wrong or right.
i don't want a boy who doesn't like me for who i am.
i don't want a boy that will try to change me.
i don't want a boy that will make me cry every night.
i don't want a boy that will make me feel like shit all the time.
i don't want a boy that makes me feel ugly.
i don't want a boy that will play mind games with my head and my heart.
i don't want a boy that is afraid of commitment.
i don't want a boy that will keep secrets from me.
i don't want a boy that is afraid to tell me what his most intermet secrets are.
i don't want a boy that won't introduce me to his friends.
i don't want a boy that won't get along with my friends.
i don't want a boy that will hurt me and those i care about.