Keone Las Vegas

You Are Las Vegas
Wild and uninhibited, you enjoy all of life's vices.
You're a total hedonist, especially with sex, gambling, and drinking.
You shine brightly every night, but you do the ultimate walk of shame each morning.
Famous Las Vegas residents: Keone, Wayne Newton, Howard Hughes, Penn & Teller, Siegfried & Roy What American City Are You?Don't read this: HI, TALOFA, ALOHA, MALO E LELEI, BULA VINAKA, KIA ORA, IAORANA, KA OHA, HAFA ADAI & WELCOME. My name is Keone, but you can call me Keone. It ryhmes with bologna you illiterate piece of shit. I'm half Hawaiian, half Haole, half German, half American, half Human, half Polynesian, and one-hundred percent part Intelectual. I'm four foot, twenty-two inches tall, and I twitch. I also have three tattoos- a Scorpion on my right arm that stands for a Scorpio in Tribal, an arm-band on my left arm that stands for an arm-band in Tribal, a KE on my left butt cheek that stands for Key in English, and an NE on my right butt cheek that stands for Knee in American (it spells KEONE when spread apart). I like to fart in public and can burp louder than anyone in the entire world. I have over 40 speeding tickets and two parking tickets. Will you be my friend? Circle yes or no. I once saw a friend fart and light it on fire, but whenever I try it, it never works. I don't like to waste my unlimited nights and weekend minutes on my T-Mo-Balls cell phone, so please- only call me during peak hours. I like to eat at the cafeteria inside the hospital near my eight bedroom penthouse, where you can only see five of the bedrooms and three of the bathrooms, but none of my friends wanna join me. I also eat five times a day at the employee dining room at work, but all my co-workers think I eat there six times a day. I drink milk to kill my heartburns and alcohol to help me sleep. I'm part German, so I have to wax my unibra every other morning. I also shave my ass, chest, armpits, nose hairs, and my cock 'n balls, but not in that order. I don't shave my back or my arms because for some reason I'm flawless in those areas. I like Flowmaster exauhsts. I think they sound cool and they give me a fat boner whenever I hear them. I dislike rice-eating exausts. I think they sound like my tight ass farts and I go limp whenever I hear those. I have a facination with going to the top floor of buildings, just to look around. Those who know me well know never to take me seriously. I still think it's funny to call businesses and ask them to page for Al Koholic, or Mike Hunt. A friend got me back once when I worked at a gym when she called and asked me to page for her mom, Pat Smear. All the guys started laughing because I didn't know what a papsmear was. They stopped laughing when I told them the only reason why they know is because they go and get one. I also think it's funny to take non-sushi eating friends to a sushi restaurant and tell them that the Wasabe is the world's best guacamole and that they should put the whole thing in their mouth. I'm too lazy to go and buy another charger to replace the one that my butler's dog chewed up, so therefore I carry a big brick Nokia wherever I go and tell people: "No, I'm not happy to see you, it's just a big brick Nokia down my pants". I told you not to read this, but you still did. Fag. Now go up to a Samoan and say, "Ufa aikai! Kefe fafa!!!", and then maybe, just maybe, I'll be your friend. Hardcore Vegas, Nevada. The city of dreams. This is where I live, and I love to live it. I've met many people here and have made many great friends from around the entire World! You know who you are!!! Motherfuckers.
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