Life After the FightMy whole life has been a fight.
I have always been battling something. And with 'something', I most times mean myself.
The battle has many times been about finding and figuring out myself. I have tried many roads and ways, but never really found anything that I felt I could be what I could hang my hat upon. Something that would define me.As a teenager, I was a seeker, trying to find a place in the world. Not until I started fighting as an amateur, I found the purpose I needed to live a meaningful life. The dream of where Muay Thai could take me seemed endless, and I followed it without ever looking back to what could have been if I had chosen to live a life as a "normal" person.I followed the dream across the world, and I ended up here in Los Angeles after a truly life- changing couple of years in Bangkok.Los Angeles have an effect on people. It has changed me as well.
My image of Los Angeles were far from Hollywood and celebrities when I first stepped off the plane at LAX. During my whole life, I had been listening to gangsta-rap and watching movies like 'Menace II Society' and 'Colors', and reading books like 'Monster' by Kody Scott. So I thought that was what all of LA was like. I almost thought there would be a drive-by every night.Not quite.I quickly learned the differences in between the classes here, but I had a hard time accepting it, coming from a socialist country where integration always is major subject to be discussed and always attempted to be bridged.Over my five years here in the second City of Angels I landed in( Bangkok is called 'the city of Angels[Krungthep] by the Thai's..), I have had a few brutal awakenings. After my last fight in December, I understood that fighting had taken me as far as it was going to, and that it was time for me to move on. I knew this in the minutes after the fight. Something in me was missing. I no longer treated it like I did when I lived in Bangkok and had to fight to be able to eat. I had found out more about myself and the world than I did then.So by drifting around in a kind of vacuum where I didn't really see any way out for a month or so, things kind of just started to fall in place. It's nothing short of a true blessing. I have mentioned it before in these ranting blogs, -I am a strong believer that everything that happens, happens for a reason.
Things started to work themselves out and pointing in one direction. Of course I had a hard time accepting it at first, but in time it started to feel natural. The signs where so clear that it would have been criminal to leave them behind instead of following them.Well, to cut this short; to live a purpose-driven life is what most need to stay alive inside, and I do need it more than most. Without a goal, life would be so blank and flat. To be on a constant inclining hill is hard and it sparks a lot of complaints, but I know by now that if the hill wasn't there, I would fall apart.If you want to find out more, check out the blog...
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