Keep Me Interested.... profile picture

Keep Me Interested....

Before you set your heart too much upon anything or anyone, you need to examine how happy it is and

About Me

.......NO JOB, NO CAR, NO MONEY, AND LIVES WITH MAMA ...............................................Hi. So I am sitting in my ole lady's single wide and I got this idea to write a profile on Myspace. There's only a few million females on this site so I felt sorry for all of the women looking for “Mr. Right”…so “Mr. Right” has now arrived!!! Hey, don't mention it. You can thank me later.Maybe I should first mention that my “relationship status” is a bit complicated since my five babies’ Mama ran off with a convict. Honestly, I would have tied the knot except for that law against marrying your own kinfolk. So we just stayed engaged.I am a pretty picky guy, so you have to meet some qualifications. First, I am getting tired of changing diapers…so you had better know how. Second, you got to have the street smarts to exchange food stamps for liquor and dope. Third, you had better be a looker. You can't look like you starred in "The Hills Have Eyes" or "Deliverance" cuz I'll be looking for the back exit of the beer joint we will be meeting at.Me? Well I'm fun, sexy, honest...blah blah blah...all the things you want to hear. My best features are my face, head, torso, hands, feet, legs, arms, front, back and sides. If I were a girl I'd date me, fall madly in love with me, couldn't get enough, and stalk myself.You are lucky because I am a Licensed Professional. Thats right. I took a rigorous two hour course and became a licensed hair dresser's assistant. I am just looking out for our future Baby!So I'm not as dumb as YOU look. I figure if those mail order Russian/Asian brides want me, you do too! Plus, you speak English.Speaking of stalking, I sure am glad the parole board gave me another chance even though I have been convicted of seventeen felonies. I explained to the Judge that I did not know the stalking laws extended to strippers. The Judge got mad and threw me in jail and I found myself playing house with a rather large inmate named Bubba. Occasionally it still hurts to sit down.Except for the voices in my head, my medications are working fine. Naturally, I need to self medicate from time to time with a little crystal meth. I’m just so happy I escaped from that psyco ward….whewwww I’m free to date you now. Reel me in, you'd be ONE in a million. The other "999,999" didn't mean a thing to me! Trust me on this. I am not looking for a one night stand, I want a one life stand. Yea, thats the ticket.Boy, I just love blind dates!! To see a woman’s mouth drop when she gets an eyeful of my toothless grin makes me all warm inside. I will even show up with a $50 engagement ring in case we hit it off. Looking for my future ex.. No LOSERS need to apply.P.S. I love you!!!!..................................................... .. OK OK I WILL GET SERIOUS FOR A MINUTE ...................................................Did you ever felt a magical connection with someone?You don't remember precisely how it happened, but one minute you were talking and laughing, and suddenly you noticed something about that person's face... you listened to their voice and really HEARD them ... and wanted more. You started to feel a deep attraction you were helpless to slow down or control... but you didn't want to anyway.You have felt that incredible feeling before, right?Do you remember walking hand in hand, feeling the thrill of their touch... so aware of every thought and sensation... and then laughing so hard ...you NEVER laughed so hard ...and you didn't notice time passing? Suddenly it was 4 AM...but you didn't care. You could have sat there or stood there or lay there forever...Is this the "Mr. Right" you are looking for? The great Persian poet Rumi said:"My soul spills into yours and is blended Because my soul has absorbed your fragrance, I cherish it."In order to find the right person, you must be the right person. Are you the right person for me?Are you someone who is sexy because of how you carry yourself, but mostly because of what you are thinking? Are you a woman with spirit, creativity, with her own take on reality; with confidence in herself? Those factors, combined with compassion for others can be devastatingly attractive.I can be quite psychic and there are three things I know about you if you have gotten this far in my profile. First, you don't want to settle for just anyone. Somewhere in your heart you believe that the most powerful feelings you are going to experience are in your future.Second, you have a great sense of humor. Your mind just won't stop and you stopped trying to stop it.Third. You are getting tired of the whole six months of the prolonged email and IM thing. You are more old school and would rather get together for a few laughs with no agenda, no stress, no pressure, and see how things go. Either we will like each other or we don't. But one thing will be accomplished between us. We will both laugh a lot.Sometimes we must abandon the life we plan in order to find the life that awaits us.&lt

My Interests

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I'd like to meet:

..*******************A MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE**************I wrote and cast this bottle into the internet ocean. It may drift with the broadband sea for many years and into thousands of computers--but is only intended for a very few. It may take a very very long time before the message washes up on the right monitor and right woman realizes this message was written to her.You have a warm smile, gentle touch, and a strong heart beat. Your eyes sparkle as they are the very windows to your deep and caring soul. You have kind words when the day did not turn out as planned. You believe that the saddest thing in the world is someone who has sight, but no vision. You know that Experience comes from what we have done. Wisdom comes from what we have done badly. You know that success in a relationship is much more than finding the right person, it is being the right person. You understands thatnow and again it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness---and just be happy. You have lost loved ones and strongly believe in giving flowers to loved ones you care for while they are alive--rather than wait to pile floral arrangements on that person's grave. You recognize that to live for one more day is a gift in and of itself. Likewise, understanding that we do not know what large or small events we will one day actually recall about our lives and identities. You never forget that life is a MEMORY IN THE MAKING. You accept that life is not fair or partial but life is what you yourself make of it.If this message is not intended for you, please carefully cast this bottle back into the information river that will carry this note back into the internet ocean so the intended woman will receive her message. One day, you too, will get your intended message. However, please remember, that not all messages are carried by the ocean, or over the internet. If you are the intended woman, contact me immediately.

Music:


You Have A Type A Personality
You are hyper, energetic, and always on the mood
You tend to succeed at everything you attempt
And if you don't succeed at first, you quickly climb your way to the top!

You could be called a workaholic, but you also make time for fun
As long as it's high energy and competitive, you're interested
You have the perfect personality for business and athletic success Do You Have a Type A Personality?

Movies:

GREAT ADVICE ON HOW TO NOT GET YOUR ASS KICKED BY THE POLICE.

Television:

THIS MAY EXPLAIN WHY I DO NOT HAVE A WIFE....YES! THIS IS MY WINGMAN! HOW COULD WE EVER MISS??
Funny videosYET, THIS GUY IS WAYYY TOO LAID BACK TO BE A WINGMANTHIS VIDEO EXPLAINS WHY I LIKE TALKING TO PEOPLE ON THE PHONE OR IN PERSON, AS OPPOSED TO INSTANT MESSENGER

Books:

Writings I plan to publish:"The Southernmost Point" "The Cresent Hotel" "The Jazz Funeral" "The Death of Me" "Obstruction of Justice" "The Felony Murder Rule" "Criminal Conversation"

Heroes:

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 100%
The Flash 85%
Green Lantern 85%
Iron Man 85%
Spider-Man 80%
Wonder Woman 70%
Supergirl 65%
Robin 60%
Batman 60%
Hulk 45%
Catwoman 35% You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

My Blog

The Girl Next Door

As a child, I remember my grandmother and mother's weekly conversations. My grandmother would keep my mother informed of her schoolmates and friends. My grandmother even kept the newspaper clippings f...
Posted by Keep Me Interested.... on Thu, 16 Oct 2008 09:05:00 PST

Do You Know The Six Rules Of Proper Text Etiquette?

Combine the convenience of a cell-phone call with the privacy of an email, and there you have the latest, greatest way to keep in touch with someone you like...TEXTING. These days, nearly everyone is ...
Posted by Keep Me Interested.... on Tue, 30 Sep 2008 09:21:00 PST

How A Woman Knows For Sure She Found A Man Who is "Confident but not Conceited."

Although women's profiles say different things, I keep reading the same phrase. The phrase is inescapable. "I like a man who is confident, but not conceited." Or "confident but not cocky." Then you re...
Posted by Keep Me Interested.... on Thu, 18 Sep 2008 06:42:00 PST

The Genie on the Golf Course

..tr>..tr>A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The hus...
Posted by Keep Me Interested.... on Thu, 11 Sep 2008 06:02:00 PST

Signs Your Online Match Will Last

So you've met someone online. This person seems fine& but you're not sure. Should you go on a date? Will the two of you be in sync? You're just not sure whether you have enough information to go on. K...
Posted by Keep Me Interested.... on Thu, 04 Sep 2008 04:49:00 PST

Know Exactly How To Correct A "Toxic" Relationship

So you had this wonderful relationship and suddenly you realized it was "toxic."  How did this happen? Why did you stay in a toxic relationship so long? How can you avoid this from happening agai...
Posted by Keep Me Interested.... on Fri, 29 Aug 2008 09:17:00 PST

How To Know If Your Relationship is "Toxic Love" or "Real Love"

This article was sent to me by my wonderful friend Shelley.  This may help explain why you can not have a successful relationship with "toxic love" people - no matter how much you care for them o...
Posted by Keep Me Interested.... on Tue, 26 Aug 2008 10:50:00 PST

Which of The Seven Kinds of Love is Your Relationship?

Someone asked me to write about which kind of love would be considered a soul mate love. It appears that I should either write this article or read her book assignment of The Note...
Posted by Keep Me Interested.... on Mon, 18 Aug 2008 05:12:00 PST

Second Hand Dogs

This story began about three years ago.  I had a wonderful golden retriever that I had to "put down" as she was already blind and in her last stage of cancer.  The Vet did all he could do.&n...
Posted by Keep Me Interested.... on Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:26:00 PST

The First Kiss

It was a rehersal dinner with about ninety guests for a soon to be married couple named Jeremy and Courtney. The groom is my stepbrother. My father and his mother spared no expense. It was held at the...
Posted by Keep Me Interested.... on Mon, 04 Aug 2008 05:58:00 PST